I woke up this morning late for work, for the past few nights I've been losing sleep to be able to post on my blog. I believe it's something important that seriously needs to be done. Anyways, back to the point, as soon as I get out of bed, my boss calls to ask if I was actually coming. I was like, oh no... I rushed to take care of my business, got dressed and off to go to work.

As soon as I get there my boss delivered the most exciting news (hack hack) We were to put Sound FX on 4 episodes of an Arabic cartoon for kids. Then sync the songs and the dialogue within 2 days. BLAAAAAAAAAAAH!!! Then me and a colleague got to go to our NLP seminar that our boss signed us up to take with our consent of course.

At 3:30 pm, it was time to head to the main office of the human development company I work for for the seminar... I've always been interested in any sort of human development because it'll help understand myself and others around me to be able to make a difference... It'll make my life easier. I just couldn't afford to go. I'm so glad I work for this company, I either get a discount or I'd get to attend seminars for free. In about 6 intense days of seminars, I'd have a NLP diploma... I'm seriously excited about that. GO proactivity GO!!! As we reached the building we got to see what seems to be a peaceful demostration. I thought that just wasn't enough to fix the problem. They needed to do more positive work to help Islam's true image come out instead of people who are not at anything but talk and violent activity. I ignored and just walked by.

As were taking a break, I heard the most disturbing news. I was fuming to the degree I was shaking; I was ready to yell at the top my lungs, "What a bunch of jack asses!!!" I couldn't believe that a mob of angry Muslims burnt the Danish embassy. Why?? That was seriously not necessary. They had no right. Islamically this is seriously NOT acceptable. I personally condemn this sinful act. You cannot fix something wrong with something worse... Innocent people could've died. They had nothing to do with the cartoons.

Then I realize that the Danish extremists planned to burn the Qur'an... So the people went ballistic... Still doesn't make it right at all. It just drives me crazy... I seriously wish that I wasn't living in this day and age. I wish I was living in the days of the Prophet (PBUH) or even Saladin's days. This is outrages this wouldn't have happened back then. Sometimes I just feel that I want to eliminate all extremists, Muslims and Non. Just strike them out. When I come back to my senses and realize that I am doing my best to fix this problem and in God's will I'll be able to do a better job once I get to develop myself better in order to spread the good word in a constructive and very peaceful manner.

Another thing that is getting me though, the media took record of this beautiful (VERY SARCASTIC) opportunity to show the world. Yeah I know we're not the best out there but why only concentrate on the negative and then when something positive is said, it said to be lies, no matter who says it.

May we all be enlightened and learn to believe we're all one struggling for the same cause, PEACE!!

Peace to all...

Freedom of the Press or Incitement?

It took me a while to write about this because to be seriously honest, I didn't know what to think of the matter. I had serious mixed feelings about the matter. After I thought about it and discussed it with another open minded Muslim women, my cousin, I came up with this conclusion:

With freedom there is responsibility to keep order in this world. Limits are there to save us from chaos. Of course people are free to say what they please but when it comes to inflammatory that's a totally different story. Didn't the Danish artist who drew those offending cartoons of the Beloved Prophet (Peace Be Upon Him) think what consequence he would cause? When you know what you would say will cause many millions of people to get offended worldwide then this goes beyond freedom of the press. In the contrary, this act is seriously seditious.

The Prophet (PBUH) is the most beloved to us Muslims. He's known to be the most loving, most just, most wise, most peaceful etc. man ever known. He is the example we should follow. Then when somebody degrades him and mocks him conveying him to be a womanizer, a terrorist, ignorant and a stupid man and making him look like the worst enemy to Islam, Bin Laden, that would raise a major controversy. He is our love and hope in this world. Wouldn't anybody be seriously offended if one of the most important thing to them is being seriously mocked? Plus in Islam, we cannot create an image on our Beloved Prophet because it wouldn't do him just in any way. So that is another stir of emotions there.

Was is really necessary to have these cartoons printed? What is the point when you know for a fact millions of people will get offended?

The Ten Commandments & The confirmation in the Qur'an.

Are we really that different?? Click on the commandments to see for yourself. Peace to all.

Peace and Love...

Here's a poem a wrote a while back. I'm just supplicating that God will cure us from this disease called "ignorance".

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Peace and Love!
Peace and love all the way throughout eternity.
May God give us the will and power to reach enlightenment.
May God give us inner peace to spread to the rest of the world,
Maybe we'll finally have peace on earth.

Peace and Love!
Peace and love all the way throughout eternity.
May God open our minds to accept other beings.
May God open our hearts to understand one another.
Maybe we'll finally have serenity on earth.

Peace and Love!
Peace and love all the way throughout eternity.
May God give us patience to tolerate the differences.
May God give us courage to learn something new.
Maybe we'll finally have tranquility on earth.

*Ya Rahman, Ya Rahim, Ya Wadud, Ya Salam...
Ya Hafeez, Ya Wahhab, Ya Fattah, Ya Lateef...
Ya Muqeet, Ya Kareem, Ya Ra'uf, Ya Hadi...

Oh Allah, you are peace and love.
I pray to you with all my supplicating soul,
to guide us to the pleasant path that I strive to be on,
Your grand path of bliss.

Peace and Love!
Peace and love all the way throughout eternity.
May God let us feel his essence,
May God give us inner peace.
Maybe we'll finally have harmony where we live.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

* These are 12 of 99 names of God known in Islam. Of course they are in Arabic...

Translation :

Compassionate
The Merciful
The Loving
Peace
The Protector
The Giver of All Things
The Remover of Difficulties
The Affectionate
The Giver of Sustenance and Strength
Benevolent
The Kind
The One Who Gives Guidance

Thanks everybody!!

A warm welcome to all my new readers. Thank you for stopping by, it's totally appreciated. I got to especially thank Kevin Sites for giving me this opportunity to share with the world, how a religious, open minded Muslim woman thinks and lives. We Muslims aren't suppose to be terrorists. Unfortunately, some group of extremists have some lose screws in their heads and ruin the image of true Islam. A religion of peace. The world "Islam" comes originally from the word Salam which means peace. The meaning of the word Islam is surrendering to peace for God, is peace. Another words surrendering to God.

I just want to make something clear to my readers... I removed some comments from my blog because this blog isn't political and I stay away from publishing my point of views of politics. I seriously feel it's pointless because it doesn't make a difference. I'd rather work on matters that will help us as humans and society. That is what I'm obligated to do for Islam is all about being proactive, unlike what most westerners have seen and I seriously blame us Muslims for that. We strayed from the Prophet Mohammad's (Peace Be Upon Him)way. It saddens me and bring tears to my eyes. May we all be enlightens...

I thank all of you for dropping by or emailing me...

Peace and Love to all....

Aleppo Takes Preparations as Capital of Islamic Culture for 2006

Accoding to SANA

Governor of Aleppo Tamer al-Haja on Tuesday briefed journalists and media men on current preparations taken to make the celebration of “Aleppo, the capital of Islamic Culture for 2006” a success.

“The celebration, due to start on 18 March, includes different activities, among them presenting 8 seminars, 150 lectures, restoring 20 historical site, organizing exhibitions, TV and Radio programs in addition to issuing a special magazine for this event,” al-Haja said during a press conference.

“Aleppo city has recruited more than 500 persons in different domains to prepare for this celebration… Spain and Germany will take part in the event through offering books, CD’s, and films on the historical sites of the city,” he added.

The Syrian second city of Aleppo was elected the capital of Islamic culture for 2006 as it represents an example of the Islamic cities in its religious tolerance, recognition of the other and coexistence among different religions and doctrines as well as its historical image.

Tolerance

Tolerance
Originally uploaded by *_Stellar_*.

Here in Damascus there isn't much conflict between Muslims and Christians. A mosque and a church in the same street, as you see in this pic, can coincide peacefully without any violence.

Can the rest of the world coexist in peace?

Peace to all.

Islam's Billy Graham

The preacher and Muslim Youth

More popular than Oprah Winfrey, the world's first Islamic television evangelist

Commands an army of millions of followers. DavidHardaker reports from Cairo

In a tiny house on the West Bank a young Palestinian woman is jogging the length of her hallway and back Again and again. The pain becomes unbearable. But she keeps going. Eventually she completes two thousand laps. Why? Because Amr said so. He called on young Muslims to get fit, and the woman could find no other safe place to run.

In the choking grime of Cairo, another young woman is tending to a small tomato vine, struggling into life atop a 10-storey city block. Why? Because Amr wants his young followers to see something grow. It will provide hope- and maybe a small income- in a part of the world where both are in short supply. The greening of rooftops in the filth and decay of this Arab mega city is a story being repeated again and again throughout the Arab world. It is a powerful metaphor for the work of a religious and marketing phenomenon called Amr Khaled, who is trying to pump oxygen into the arid lives of Muslim youth. Amr (rhymes with "charmer") Khaled is the Arab world's first Islamic tele-evange-list, a digital age Billy Graham who has fashioned himself into the anti-Bin Laden, using the barrier-breaking power of satellite TV and the internet to turn around a generation of lost Muslim youth.

"When you look at the reach of what he is doing and when you look at the millions he is touching, I don't know another single individual in the region who is having the impact that Amr Khaled is having," says the American Rick Little, an adviser on youth issues to the UN who has worked with Khaled on job creation schemes in the Middle East.

Khaled, 38, defies the stereotype of the Islamic preacher. In his Cairo office it would be easy to mistake him for a City banker. No flowing robes for him. He wears a hand-tailored cream suit, an open-necked sky blue shirt, brown loafers and a Bulgari watch.

The accountant-turned-preacher shifts easily between the worlds of religion and business.
To demonstrate the success of Khaled Inc, the CEO has at the ready a series of graphs and pie-charts in a tastefully designed Annual Report. Inside he points to the proof of his proudest boast: that Amr Khaled is more popular than the US talk show juggernaut Oprah Winfrey.

Certainly, It seems to be the case. A corporate graph shows the number of hits on the amrkhaled.net website soaring far and beyond the Winfrey line. It is a strange point of reference for an Islamic preacher. He explains, though, that he is neither a preacher nor an Oprah. "I am in my own box," he laughs. And perhaps he is.

Unlike other Middle Eastern preachers, Khaled has had a taste of life on the other side of the religious and cultural divide.

Three years ago he was banned from speaking in Egypt because of his popularity. In self- imposed exile, he set up shop in London, where he says he lived "a wonderful life, in freedom".
Khaled has returned to his home country in the past few weeks, but his experience of the West sharpened his perspective on the problems facing young Muslims, in England and in the Arab world. He has come back with a dream: "I am going now to build a bridge between the East and the West," he declares.

There is more than a touch of the thespian in Khaled, and he is well aware of the power of his words to motivate. His prime target is the youth of the Arab world, who feel that they are second-class citizens in a world dominated by the United States and its values. To these young people he has a tough message about the destructive force of self-pity. "We Muslims are living as parasites on the world. Our problem is that we have got used to taking without ever giving," he says.

"Don’t tell us it is a Western conspiracy against us, it is not."

Khaled's words capture what official reports into the Middle East have been pointing to with increasing alarm: that rising poverty, unemployment and illiteracy have made a toxic cocktail. Combined with authoritarian governments and hostility to the United States, the cocktail has turned deadly and made its young people easy prey for the likes of Osama bin Laden.

Khaled's remedy is a tough personal regime of self-renewal, based on what he says are real Islamic values. His messages are drawn from the Koran, but they are shaped to the 21st century.

Muslims are told why it is contrary to Islam to smoke, to litter the streets or to be lazy, and why it is good to collect clothes for the poor or to vote in elections.

One devotee is the Egyptian graduate Iman Salama, 24. She listens to Khaled through a walkman tucked under her veil while she does the housework. "I am a big fan," she says. "I like that he wants to make the beliefs of Islam more something that you can do in your day-to-day life." Like thousands of others, Iman Salama has grown impatient with the establishment preachers, who are determined not to move with the times. "They are not really up to the standards that are needed to make the Muslim people relate to Islam in a changing world," she says.

In the eyes of Arab elders, though, the TV preacher is little more than a showman, a judgment which is reinforced every time another high-profile celebrity signs up to the Khaled cause. Around Cairo's establishment dinner tables there is much tut-tut ting about the lay preacher's lack of formal religious training.

Muslim scholars scorn his "air-conditioned" brand of Islam.

However. In the best traditions of United States tele-evangelists, the Khaled style on stage is a big seller. With eyes shut tight the preacher will summon a message as though from the depths of his soul. His face contorts. There's a rush of emotion. His voice rises to an excited squeal. In a trice he brings his audience back down again, his voice dropping to a near whisper.

Khaled's connections range far and wide across the spectrum of politics and business. Little, who is also CEO of an international philanthropic organisation, Imagine Nations, first heard of the preacher's influence when he was interviewing young Muslims for a book he is writing with Queen Rania of Jordan.

"I was shocked by the number of young people from a diverse number of countries and backgrounds and socio-economic levels who kept on talking about Amr and the influence he was having in their lives," he said from his Maryland office in the US. "I thought who ever this guy is, he is someone I would like to get to know and learn more about."

Khaled is a favorite of Queen Rania. His brochures are littered with happy snaps of him with the influential: with the President of Yemen, being presented with a UN award, signing a deal with the chief of Dubai police.

It makes the preacher a powerful political lever for the West in its quest to neutralise the anger of young Muslims. The British Government has already seen the potential. In mid 2004, leaked Cabinet papers named Khaled as a figure worth promoting as a counterweight to the imams preaching jihad in England.

In the face of evidence of hostile intent from within England's own Muslims communities, Tony Blair asked the Cabinet Secretary, Sir Andrew Turnbull, to come up with strategies. Sir Andrew reported: "We need to find ways of strengthening the hand of moderate Muslim leaders, including the young Muslims with future leadership potential, through the status which contact with the government can confer, and through practical capacity building measures."

The British Government has been happy to back Khaled's efforts. Last August, the Foreign Office minister Kim Howells sent a message of support for a conference organised by the preacher, praising him for his "courage and strength" in attempting to bring cultures together.
A month before, Khaled was in London when the terror attacks killed 52 people. "This," he hisses, "is nowhere in Islam. If anyone kills children or women, this is not acceptable not only in Islam, in the Jewish faith, in Christianity, in all the religions."

Khaled's words are music to the ears of Western interests. But while the preacher might be hip, he is deeply conservative.

The Khaled phenomenon is being fed by a range of forces, not only companies such as a Nike Corporation, but by billionaire Saudi businessmen as well. Of the latter, Khaled says: "I chose the moderate people, not just anyone from Saudi Arabia."

It certainly makes the man with the simple message a more complex proposition. One of Khaled's toughest hometown critics believes the West has been tricked by Khaled. "His appearance is calculated to deceive," says Hala Mustafa, who is one of Cairo's prominent liberals and the editor of a government funded academic journal, Democracy.

"He is just like the other Islamic theocrats, but he says it with a smiling face."

Mustafa has written widely on the growth of Islamic fundamentalist groups, and exhibit No 1 in her prosecution of Khaled is the headscarf, the emblem of conservative Islam. He is commonly held to be the single major force behind young women taking the veil. Removing it, he has told his followers, is "the biggest sin, the biggest sin, the biggest sin".

In one of his lectures he directed a tirade towards any Muslim girl who wished to mimic the West and not wear the veil: "Who respects the woman more? Islam or the ones who cannot even sell a box of matches without painting a half-naked woman on it? Are they the ones who have respected women or ill-treated them? Has not Islam respected women, covered them and liberated them from such exploitation?"

Khaled has saved some of his fiercest rhetoric for the ethics of the West. In his addresses to his Arabic-speaking audience he has alleged that Western people are "fatigued by depression. Suicide, addition, broken families, we pray they will go back to the right path, Allah's system. We don’t want to lead lives like the "West."

He claims that Muslims are being "oppressed and tortured all over the world". So how does this square with his vow to build a bridge between the East and the West?

"To say we are building a bridge does not mean we are making a copy of life in the West," he says. "There are some things we don’t accept in your vision of life. We have many things in our culture [where there is a] big difference between you and us, and if we say we need to take the West and to make a copy of the [West's] civilisation then no one will listen to me, because no one thinks like that."

Pause.

A confession is on the way: "Yes, I did say these points but I will be very honest to tell you Amr Khaled's vision after he went to stay in the UK is not like Amr Khaled's vision before he went to the UK."

The concession only adds to the riddle of what Khaled really stands for. Mustafa says it all adds up to one conclusion: "He is very close in style to the Muslim brotherhood," she says, invoking the name of the Middle East's original political Islamic organisation, which is pursuing Islamic government through the ballot box and which recently made massive gains in Egypt's elections.
"Whether they use extreme language or moderate language, they all have the same aim."

It remains to be seen where Khaled is leading his army of young believers and whether or not the plants springing into life on Arab rooftops might ultimately be a bitter harvest for the West. The Khaled phenomenon is a work in progress, one which might yet see the accountant turned preacher take another turn, perhaps into politics.

"Anything at the right time," he says. Now I have good dialogue with the West and I have millions of people who are listening to me. So what is the next step? Let's wait and see."



Wednesday 4 January 2006 THE INDEPENDENT
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In my humble opinion, I believe that he is hope for all Arabs and Muslims. We haven't been doing anything to get out the dump that we are so comfortable in. It's time to actually not accept anything less than the best of the best of wht we can be.

Lately, I've been using the word" Pro-active" a lot. It's because it's in engraved in my soul now. I am one of those young Muslim that Amr Khaled changed their lives to the more positive. I can say, I know I found a beautiful purpose in life. I no longer am lost because I have loads to offer this world to make a difference.

May Allah bless my dearest brother in Islam, Amr Khaled... May there will be more out there like him.

EID MUBARAK!!!

I know this comes a little too late but I'll share it anyways...

New Music...

I'd like to thank whoever stopped by to read my blog. I hope you enjoy it and would like to see you be active on the blog. Anyways... I'm writing this post so I can spread my music a little bit to get feedback from you guys...

www.mp3.com.au/Sara

There are 2 categories. Just a bunch of bad recordings and an album called Emotions. That isn't the final name of the album but it's there just to separate the categories. Listen to the Instrumental music from Emotions and tell me what you think and feel free to download the songs and share them if you like them enough, as long as I (the composer) am mentioned.

I recently uploaded 2 new songs, Calling Out and Mystical Path. Hopefully, in God's will, I'll have more up there soon. If Calling Out is not up, wait till the next day till I get the approval. Thanks again...

Hope you enjoy the music.

To Believe Or Not to Believe???

I got this email today and I thought I'd share it... I have no idea who this person is to be honest. Sounts tempting but I mean what the?!?! If you can't trust family, you tend to trust a stranger??? Who knows?

Hello Friend,
My name is Abdulla Hassan, A Bahraini national. I have been diagnosed with
Oesophageal cancer .It has defiled all forms of medical treatment, and right
now I have only about a few months to live, according to medical experts. I
have not particularly lived my life so well, as I never really cared for
anyone(not even myself)but my business. Though I am very rich, I was never
generous, I was always hostile to people and only focused on my business as
that was the only thing I cared for. But now I regret all this as I now know
that there is more to life than just wanting to have or make all the money
in the world. I believe when God gives me a second chance to come to this
world I would live my life a different way from how I have lived it. Now
that God has called me, I have willed and given most of my property and
assets to my immediate and extended family members as well as a few close
friends .I want God to be merciful to me and accept my soul so, I have
decided to give alms to charity organizations, as I want this to be one of
the last good deeds I do on earth. So far, I have Distributed money to some
charity organizations in the U.A.E, Somalia and Malaysia. Now that my health
has deteriorated so badly, I cannot do this myself anymore. I once asked
members of my family to close one of my accounts and distribute the money
which I have there to charity organization in Bulgaria and Pakistan, they
refused and kept the money to themselves. Hence, I do not trust them
anymore, as they seem not to be contended with what I have leftfor them. The
last of my money which no one knows of is the huge cash deposit of Eighteen
Million dollars($18,000,000,00) that I have with a finance House abroad. I
will want you to help me collect this deposit and dispatch it to charity
organizations.

N/B:KINDLY NOTE THAT 20% of this funds must go to victims of recent
disasters and another 20% for your effort and time.
Please do reply if you are willing to assist me.

Regards,
Mr.Abdulla Hassan.

If you're wondering...

I just wanted to share this piece of information from one of great scholars, Imam Suhaib Webb. Br. Suhaib contacted me when I sincerely needed help this summer. I once again needed to read this and I hope this can help anybody who needs it.

Asalamu alaykum,

I pray all are well. I was blessed to hear brother Sami last night here in the Bay Area and Mashallah his new songs sound great! I ask Allah to bless him and increase his good.


Regarding our dear sisters question:


Dear sister,


Your lack of focus and concentration could be do to a number of issues social and spiritual.

On the social level:

1. Stress- For many young brothers and sisters in Musilm lands there is a great amount of stress. School and marriage seem to be some of the main issues in Egypt amongst my friends. However, there are a number of things you can do to assist with this.

a. Take some time out and enjoy yourself. Go to the park or place of recreation. It is important to recharge your batteries and give your mind and soul a rest. The Prophet (sa) said, "Your body has a right you." (sound hadith)

b. Try doing something benefical in your community. Work with youngsters and teach them to read. I know of alot of children of Bawabs in my area who cannot read nor write. Perhaps do some type or work that will relax you and bring you closer to Allah.

c. Sports: Sports are a great way to let of steam and relax.

e. Keep a diary. Writing your thoughts down every-day is a great way to let things out and make muhasaba of yourself.

2. On the spiritual level:

1. I was sad to see you asking for an answer besides supplication and prayer. Such a statement reflects a great spiritual problem! For indeed, if the Salah and supplication are not the greatest assistance at your disposal then what is? Such a statement is like a a patient complaning to a doctor with the cure for their disease sitting in front of them. I encourage you to think deeply about your relationship with Salah and Supplication. Allah says, "Seek help with prayer." And "Your Lord says call on Me and I will answer you." And, "Indeed, with the remembrance of Allah hearts find rest."

Dear Sister! Know that there is no better medication than prayer and dua. Perhaps, and this is the case with myself, it is not the supplication nor the prayer that is not working, but the one praying and supplicating? For that reason the great poet Al-Mutanabi said, and I'm sorry I have no Arabic on this computer,

"If the eye is ill and fails to see the beauty in an object, then let it not blame the object. And if the tongue is ill and it fails to taste the sweetness of food, then let it not blame the food."

Thus, my advice is to revisit your prayers and supplication. Everything has a means of travel. From Medinah Nasir to Hussein we use a micro-bus. From Salmiyah to Sura (yes Kuwait!) we take a taxi. And from Cairo to the USA we use an air-plane. But how do we travel to Allah (swt). Allah (swt) says, "Flee to Allah." We travel to Allah with sound healthy hearts. Thus, my advice would be to work on your soul, then revisit your prayers and supplication. Imam Al-Ghazzali said, "Prepare your hearts for knowledge as land is prepared for cultivation." Thus, I advice the following:

1. Establish a daily time to sit and remember Allah.

2. Make wudu, pray two rakats and run with your heart and tears back to your Lord. Allah (swt) loves those who turn to Him and He is sure to be there for you. But, you must knock on the door, if no-one answers, knock louder
.
3. Remember that tears of sincere pentance are worth more than gold and rubies. Thus, give some Sadaqa from your eyes to Allah. Money is a great form of sadaqa, but sincere tears for Allah have cannot be valued. The Prophet (sa) said that those tears and what every they touch will not be burned by the Hell fire.

I ask Allah to bless you and forgive me if my words were harsh.

Your brother
Suhaib.

_________________
"One has to conquer the fear of death if he is
going to do anything constructive in life and take a stand against evil."

Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr



Asalamu alaykum,

After reading out sister's response I recalled a beautiful statement of our Prophet (sa) that should really boost everyone's faith.

The Prophet (sa) said, "Whoever, works towards improving his/her Islam. Then for every, good action, he/she does it will be multiplied 10 to 700 times. And for every sin or mistake he/she makes, it will counted as only one." (Sound hadith)

Mashallah! Such great news and glad tidings for those who stuggle and seek to improve their relationship with Allah.

Suhaib

A post from a sister's blog..

I was going through some blogs and I came across this post... Hajar, if you're reading this, please forgive me for stealing your post but I couldn't help but stop laughing at how you ended the conversation. It's toooo funny. I wanted to share it with everybody.

This is something I feel as well and I've been told to stay away from non-Muslims. The problem is not the religion itself, it's the ignorant ones who want to force their views on other people. La ikraha fideen

This is a post by Nuralhuda.

Salafis, Again...

'who is that?'
'a friend'
'why is she not wearing hijab?'
'maybe cos she's not muslim?' [ i would have thought the crucifix gave it away]
'i see. have u tried to guide her?' [Allah is the one that guides, no?]
'she's a very religious christian, and is happy that way'
'and yet she's your friend?'
'...and?'
'ya ukhti, you should stay away from the kaffirs'
'and you, ukhti, should go to hell'

i guess she wont be bothering me anytime soon.

if you want to sport a 10 ft beard and 3/4 length trousers, thats your choice.

if you want to wear niqab, get married at 13, and have 35 kids [to increase the ummah's population], fine. but dont force your messed up choices on me.

and if Im doomed to hell for having christian, agnostic, hindu and even jewish friends, then that's my concern. not yours.

I'm getting over it already.

Now that I calmed down and I looked back at my previous post, I feel seriously foolish. I guess the reason why wrote it because I just needed to vent. This is what I have to say now with a smile on my face.

It's funny how things are in life. I know God works in mysterious ways. There is much more to what I'm about to say but I think I'll just leave it to this:

All I'll say is that I had a really idealistic image in my head that I thought might be part of reality that I'm looking for in my life that will benefit my deen(religion). Then reality struck me real hard; it's so not going to happen. I can accept that without a problem because in the end it's not really my choice. I guess the timing isn't right or just there are bigger plans for me... Allah knows best.

Don’t despair of Allah’s Mercy (Az- Zumar: 53)

O Allah, I seek your protection from anxiety and sadness, and I seek your protection from helplessness and laziness, and I seek your protection from stinginess and cowardice, and I seek your protection from heavy debt and the oppression of men. (Bukhari)

Say: ‘Nothing will happen to us except what Allah has decreed For us: He is our Protector’; And on Allah let the Believers Put their trust.

O Allah, I hope for your mercy, so do not entrust me to my soul for the twinkling of an eyelid and rectify my matters totally. There is no God but you. (Bukhari)

There is no God but you, Glory be to you. Indeed I was of the wrongdoers. (Tirmidhi)

There is no God but Allah the exalted the forbearing. There is no God but Allah, Lord of the supreme throne. There is no God but Allah, Lord of the Heavens and Lord of the Earth and Lord of the Honourable throne. (Bukhari)

I only complain of my distraction and anguish To Allah, and I know from Allah That which ye know not…

If Allah do touch thee with hurt, there is none can remove it but He; if He do design some benefit for thee, there is non can keep back His favour: He cause it to reach Whomsoever of His servants He pleases. And He is the Oft-Forgiving. Most Merciful.

I put my trust in Allah, My Lord and your Lord! There is not a moving Creature, but He hath Grasp of its fore-lock, Verily, it is my Lord that is on a straight path.

What Allah Out of His Mercy Doth bestow on mankind None can withhold: What He doth withhold, None can grant, Apart from Him: And He is Exalted in Power, Full Wisdom.

Say: “Sufficient is Allah for me! In Him trust those Who put their trust.”

(They Prayed): “Our Lord! In Thee do we trust, And to Thee do we turn In repentance: to Thee is our final Return. “Our Lord! Make us not a test and trial for the Unbelievers, But Thou art the exalted in Might, the Wise.”

“O Allah! I am Your bond servant, son of Your bondsman, and son of Your bondswoman. My forelock is in Your Hands; Your judgement is continuously being carried out upon me; Your sentence upon me is just. I ask You with every name that is Yours, with which You have named Yourself, brought down in Your book, taught to one of Your creation, or have preferred for Yourself in the hidden knowledge, with You; that You make the Qur’an the delight of my heart, and the light of my chest, and the means of dispelling my grief, my worry and my sorry. (Ahmad)


I give thanks to my dear brother Haroon for the simple yet deep advice he gave me. You rock, bro...

I also give thanks to Asma for being the sweetest sister one can have... I love you.

OK, I now feel this is some sort of award speech. Hahaha... Well, maybe it should be because I've been rewarded with the greatest brothers and sisters in Islam. Alhamdullah. I love you guys. You know who you all are. *wink wink*

Salam to All

Here we go again.

ok, this is going to be seriously vague post and say that it's happening to me all over again.

Earlier this summer I was one of the most happiest person on earth. I connected with a friend on so many levels and it was great and thought maybe something would come out of it. Then that didn't work for some complicated matter that took place and I got involved in something that I shouldn't have because I feel I lost a friend that was dear to my heart... Things was never the same since then. So what do I do? Just move on. I have no other choice now do I?

Then tonight it happens AGAIN. Same exact situation. The only difference is that this time, I wasn't ready at all to do favors because I didn't want to lose ANY friendships this time. I feel bad about that though. So it's not a really win/win situation, it's like you're damned if you do and you're damned if you don't.


I'm disappointed to the I'm hurting. I feel like an idiot. I know I'm a good person and likeable but I just can't help but feel something is not right with me. Here I am with tears rolling down my face as I type this and talking to my friend wanting to express what I truly feel but I just can't. I don't want to sound like a maniac. I just don't know what to say. I guess, just accepting it and for once not express myself would be in the best interest of everybody involved. Knowing me though, I can't do it because I'm about to just let it all out. I don't understand why I'm that upset in the first place. So what?!? It's not meant to be and something better should come my way.

WHATEVER!!!

Nobody will ever love me more than my creator does. Alhamdulillah for everything for he is the most loving, mercifel and most compassionate...

Allah Kareem...

Trip to Maaloula

It was on a Friday morning when 6 young international voyagers; a charming couple from Germany, Lars and Katharina, a loving Australian, Attila, a darling Peruvian, Gabriela, and the two just fabulous locals, Feras and I, emerged together on a stupendous adventure at Maaloula, Syria.




Top left to right: Lars, Katherina and Attila.
Botton Left to right: Gabriela, Feras and Me.

It was an hour decent ride on a bus from Damascus to Maaloula is a village whose inhabitants are mostly Christian.. All we talked about is current affairs. What else would anybody talk about these days? Me, Attila, Gabriela, Lars and Katharina pretty much sat near other but Feras sat a little further from us, which was good because he got to meet up with a girl who actually works as guide at one of a few gorgeous churches over there. So that worked great for us.

When we reached there, we took a look at some gorgeous ancient churches then the real escapade started when we went to the hills for some rock climbing. We all had a blast. I find it quite interesting that in summer when a bunch of us went to Bait Jin and did some hiking, I couldn't finish; I was so nauseated out of exhaustion and dehydration. This time, I was just out of breath but I kept up pretty well. I'm not too sure if I'm more in shape this time or is it that the weather does a huge role. That day was freezing cold. It even snowed a little bit. I sure did miss the feeling of snow drops hitting my face was a walk. It was like some sort of relief. Attila himself got very excited because he has never seen snow in his life.





I'll have to admit some of the caves on the hills and mountains look like that they can be used for some SciFi movie. I felt like I was I belonged in Star Wars and I'm just waiting for Jedis to come to tell us "May the force be with us" Or the Imperial army to force us to join the "dark side" or we're doomed. Other than that, some the pathways in the village are just gorgeous. The residential area is somewhat primitive but that what I loved about it. It was very simple and most of it was all natural and with the amount of stairs, I can say that it is one healthy lifestyle these people have.



I think we walked all over the village then stopped at a local restaurant to have something to drink and eat. To our amusement the TV was turned on VH1 and we couldn't help but sing along with songs playing on TV. We all reminisced our past as we sang each song loudly. It was mostly me, Attila and Gabriela. I'm surprised we didn't get kicked out of the place. I recall that when we were leaving the restaurant to catch the bus back to Damascus the guys at the restaurant seem to be happy to see us go. Go figure…

We didn't stop singing when we actually got on the bus. We sang all sorts of songs; we sang some, Christmas carols, oldies, nursery rhymes, TV show themes and modern rock songs. We got the whole bus quiet as we sang. Even Feras entertained us with his harmonica playing. It was just fun with laughter and just enjoying our time.

All in all this day was one of the most fun days ever since I moved to Syria, 2 months ago. This trip made me realize that there is so much in Syria I'm missing out. It's ironic that it takes backpackers for me to get to know more of my own country. Hence, I decided to join http://www.couchsurfing.com/ and just meet more people and get more connections because God knows when if one day I'll visiting their neck of the wood. Now that I think it'll happen but it'll be fun to know people from all over the world; a lot more to learn.

Syria, my love.

وما أدراك ما الوطن بالنسبة للسوريين
سورية هي تلك الرغبة التي تعتريك لتناول " كاسة شاي " وأنت تأكل الجبنة البيضاء البلدية،وذاك الخمول الذي يدفعك بعد

وجبة الغذاء الدسمة إلى قيلولة غالية،
هي ذاك المزيج الفوضوي الذي يجري في شوارع العاصمة،
آلاف من السيارات والبشر المختلطة وفق منظومة معقدة لا تستطيع أن تدركها أو تفهم آلية
عملها ولكنها في النهاية تعمل، تمتزج، تتحرك، وتنفصل.........
وتتلاشى الحركة في الشوارع لتبدأ الحياة في المنازل التي تحب السهر،
وتبقى البيوت المتراكمة المتسلقة جبل قاسيون مضاءة حتى يطفئوها الفجر

الذي يعلنه صوت الآذان..
سورية هي فيروز في الصباح.. و" سيرة الحب " في ليل دمشقي طويل..

أو موال شجي عتيق على أنغام قد حلبي .
سورية.. نشرة الأخبار بين عشق الرجال وكره النساء،
هي السياسة التي ندمنها دون أن نتعاطها..
هي

خوف صبية عائدة إلى البيت في مساء متأخر،
هي حب مراهق لبنت الجيران، هي وجوه

الناس التي ألفناها وقصص البيوت التي تناقلناها،
هي النميمة في صبحية " نسوان "، و " قعدة " رجالية في مقهى بين
طاولة الزهر وعبق الدخان..

سورية هي جلسة حول " بحرة " في دار قديم تجمعنا " قرقعة " أركيلة،
عشقناها وهي ترسم تنهيدة ألم في الهواء،
هي عدوى الضحك على طرفة " بايخة " تنتشر بين الأصحاب وتتمادى لتصبح

قهقهة عالية لا تعبأ لا بالمكان والزمان..
سورية هي محجبة وسافرة تعيش في بيت واحد،

وطبخة " شاكرية " على مائدة كريم دعا إليها كل الجيران،
مسيحي ومسلم الكل يحمدون الله على النعمة ويدعون أن يحفظها من الزوال..
سورية هي نزعة طفل للتسرب إلى الشارع واللعب مع أولاد الجيران،
هي رائحة " الطبيخ " تفوح عند باب كل دار وقت الغذاء،
وجلسة دافئة لأفراد العائلة حول مدفأة المازوت في ليلة باردة..
سورية هي الحارة والأصحاب،

المدرسة والطريق الذي " تسكعناه " مئات المرات،
هو الطاولة التي درسنا عليها والغرفة التي تشاركنا بها إخوة وأخوات،
هي همومنا الصغيرة التي كبرت وأحلامنا الكبيرة التي تضاءلت،
هي

الذكرى التي تجمعنا في الماضي والأمل بلقاء في المستقبل قد لا يكون..
سورية هي

الحب القديم، هي القلب الذي خفق في صدورنا أول مرة،
هي الغيرة التي اشتعلت على فتاتنا تضحك لرفيق لتترك في النفس حرق لذيذ،
هي حلاوة اللقاء الذي كان وربما لن يتكرر،

هي الحياة التي انتزعناها من عمر مضى واحتفظنا بها مجرد ذكريات..


هي ضحك، بكاء، مئات الكلمات، أحاديث وصور تبعثرت في ذاكرتنا

يستحضرها الحنين ويحفظها الشوق ونحن نعرف بأنه لا أمل لنا في اللقاء..
سورية هي أيام عشناها

في وطن كان.. نخاف أن يضيع،

سورية هي الحبيب الذي هجرناه ولم نستطع أن نعشق سواه،
سورية هي الماضي الذي منه ولدنا

وعلينا أن نحرص لكي يكون المستقبل الذي يحيا أولادنا فيه..

سورية كلمة عندما نسمعها، تشتعل قلوبنا بالمحبة، وتدمع

عيوننا الحائرة فرحا وحزنا،
وتتلعثم ألسنتنا مثل مراهق يريد أن يبوح لفتاته

بكلمة.. "أحبك

Latest Job Update...

Well, the people who have been reading my blog will know the story about my job. Well, here's the latest update.. MAJOR changes has happened. I actually changed changed my job at NIS and now I'm working at a media department of a human development company called Unlimited Horizons in English, in Arabic آفاق بلا حدود. I'm seriously loving this job.... There's no training period or anything. They saw my portfolio and they wanted me instantly. They gave a whole loads of work already. I'm seriously enjoying what I'm doing. All day long I'm either in the studio working on some anasheed or prepairing audio for a TV show that'll be aired probably in next Ramadan or I'm planning with some people to work on an audio book for some Human development book. If not all that, I'll be trying to create a concept for a music video or I'm in video filming sessions and locations to get some of the action there.

Pretty much my hands are seriously full. I'm not complaining though. It brings me great joy. As I mentioned in my earlier post that if I'm productive, I'm happy. This time my productivity is on a bigger front and it's contributing in to make a difference. It's like a dream come true.

My boss, is the coolest human being ever. He's so great.... He's teaching me the secrets of the trade and believes in me and my work, like no other. I have to say, I can't ask for more. He's very welcoming. I feel at home being there. I love going to work unlike my other job. Soba7an Allah... As a kid a dreamt in doing something in what I'm doing now. Finally, it had happened and now I feel my purpose and know my role in this world. I know this sounds pointless to many people out there. I don't care. I'm happy and I want to make other people happy with my work and that is what matters to me most.

All I have to say about this, El7amdullah (Praise the lord) for everything that is happening. In my life, I had some serious ups and downs but like this, there is nothing comparable. Sob7an Allah and el7amdullah....

Another Great Creation...

Who ever knew that they'd make candy like this. Go figure... What next? Crap looking chocolate?

The Deal with 2 Cows.

الاشتراكية: أن تكون لديك بقرتان تعطي واحدة لجارك

الشيوعية: أن تكون لديك بقرتان فتأخذ الحكومة الاثنتين وتمنحك بعض اللبن

الفاشية: أن تكون لديك بقرتان فتأخذ الحكومة الاثنتين وتبيع لك بعض اللبن

النازية: أن تكون لديك بقرتان فتأخذ الحكومة الاثنتين وتعدمك

البيروقراطية: أن تكون لديك بقرتان فتأخذ الحكومة الاثنتين وتقتل واحدة وتحلب الأخرى وتلقي باللبن بعيدًا

الرأسمالية: أن تكون لديك بقرتان فتبيع واحدة وتبتاع ثورًا، من ثم ينمو القطيع فتبيعه وتتقاعد معتمدًا على الدخل

شركة أمريكية: أن تكون لديك بقرتان فتبيع واحدة وترغم الأخرى على أن تعطيك لبن أربع بقرات.. ثم تستأجر خبيرًا استشاريًا لفهم لماذا ماتت البقرة

شركة فرنسية: لديك بقرتان فتعلن الإضراب لأنك تطالب بثلاث

شركة يابانية: لديك بقرتان. تعيد تصميمهما جينيًا بحيث تصيرا عشر حجم البقرة العادية، مع مضاعفة اللبن عشرين مرة. ثم تبتكر شخصية بقرة للرسوم المتحركة إسمها (كاوكيمون) وتسوقها في العالم كله

شركة ألمانية: لديك بقرتان. تعيد تصميمهما جينيًا بحيث تعيش الواحدة مائة عام
وتحلب نفسها وتأكل مرة كل شهر

شركة إيطالية: لديك بقرتان لكنك لا تعرف أين هما .. من ثم تكف عن البحث لأن
ساعة الغداء حانت

شركة روسية: لديك بقرتان.. تعدهما فتجد أن لديك خمس بقرات. تعد من جديد فتجد
أن العدد 42.. تعد من جديد فتجد أنهما بقرتان .. تتوقف حتى تفتح زجاجة فودكا
أخرى

شركة سويسرية: لديك 5000 بقرة لا تملك واحدة منها. لكنك تتقاضى من الآخرين ثمن
الاحتفاظ بها

شركة صينية: لديك بقرتان.. ولديك 300 واحد لحلبهما. تنشر أخبارًا عن انعدام
البطالة و تقدم صناعة الألبان وتعتقل الصحفي الذي نشر الأرقام الحقيقية

An independent Movie

Here's a new movie that's coming out soon... Unlike Hollywood movies this masterpiece tackles a subject that's very daring both in the east and west. It includes Hollywood's most known actors and new faces from the Middle East. It's an independent movie that surely will reach the top in office boxes. Will it be the next Blair Witch Project? You're just going to have to wait and see.

Job Update...

For those who've been reading my blog for a while here is the latest update even though most of my readers already know but I thought I'd post something about it anyways...

When I arrived to Syria on Oct 11th, I'll admit I was 100% nervous about the whole move and the job that I'd be starting with New Interactive Studio. NIS is a Post Production company that deals with dubbing sound onto video or film. Meaning, they do the SFX (Sounds Effects), ambiance and sometimes music creation for TV shows, cartoons, video games, commercials etc...

So 2 days after my arrival to Syria I called them up to fix up a final meet up before I start working for them. On the 15th, I officially started training with them and I'm still training till this day. This training phase should take no more than a month. It all depends on my performance. I do have some experience with all that since sound design was part of my Audio Engineering major. Even so, I was pretty slow with the first test project they gave me. I never really worked with cartoons before. I took it as a challenge and I wanted to do a really good job. In the end after 11 hours of work I ended to up with decent according to them. So now they wanted to give me something more realistic. They are going to give me 3 mins of Abu Zaid Al Hilali episode to add some SFX. I thought that's sooooo cool. I've seen a couple episodes of it and it was pretty exciting... I believe this would be easier because I have a good idea how this needs to sound like. I'm looking forward to it...

I was suppose to work on it today but they were doing some renovation in the studio and I couldn't really do any work. I just wish they called me up. I would've continued with seriously needed sleep. Well, they told me next time I should call before I come. I thought that was pretty weird. I call in to see if I can work that day or not. I don't know what to think of that, honestly.

It's been almost a month without pay since it's only training... It's driving me up the wall. I feel stuck. I want to officially be working at least as a freelancer. The deal was this. I first train for no money for about a month then, I'll work as freelancer for a few months then if they like what I'm doing, they'll hire me and I'll get the monthly salary. Everybody ask me how is work doing and I keep telling them the same thing again and again. "I'm still training and being at the first stage is the most annoying because I don't really feel it's a real job." Sooner or later it'll happen though. I'm holding my breath.

One thing that does concern me is this... Syria is going through a rough issue with the Mehlis report and what the US is asking of her. I'm worried that things might go out of hand and the US will come and start serious trouble in Syria then I'd have to flee back to the UAE. It'll be the second time that the US's foreign policy would've seriously ruined my plans for my future. I need that job for experience because in Dubai most won't hire unless I have some sort of experience.

All I can say is this... May this land be protected and may the people in charge be wise enough to keep Syria safe. I'll admit, I do have faith that everything will be fine. Inshallah all will be...

Candle Lit Dinner...

Last night has been one amazingly beautiful night *hack hack* I hadn't slept in over 24 hours, trying to fix my sleeping schedule. Ironically, I was wide awake and VERY hungry... I decided to cook up something quick to eat and hit the sack. Sounds quite ordinary... My place is pretty warm since I have my electric heater on since my other one isn't working right. I was watching The Royal Tenenbaums on One TV. It's a pretty odd movie that I loved the first time I watch in New York with my cousin. It brought up weird but good memories.

So as I was enjoying my night alone, I decided to cook something to eat I was starved. I had some mushrooms and meat already cooked, just need to add some macaroni and I'm all set. In the middle of my cooking the worst things happened. The electricity got cut off. No, it's not because the electricity bill wasn't paid it's because it was raining all day and something went wrong. So I got out the candles and lit them all over the place.

Lucky me I heated the water before mixing it with the macaroni so the water was hot... So no big deal. It'll just take a longer time to cook. To my luck I fell asleep on the couch for 45 mins. When I woke up the electricity was still cut off and I ran to the kitchen to see the Macaroni. Let me tell you... It was the most disgusting thing ever. The macaroni were totally soggy and icky... It was like oat meal but it's macaroni. Ewww. Just remembering it makes my stomach all groggy.

I had no choice but to eat it because I was starved... So here I am having the most amazingly romantic dinner all by myself... 3 lit candles around me as it rained outside, it's freezing cold and the food was just awful.... What else can a girl ask for??? So I decided to entertain myself as I ate... I pretended that I've pain some magical food that give me power to control the world and hence it's disgusting eating it in the middle of 3 candles. Hahahaha. I was bored. No form of entertainment alone with no electricity. I know, I wacked...

My Third Tag...

Thanks Sharks for tagging me to do this twice... I don't know why... :P

Se7en things I want/like to do:

1. Create Music
2. Sing
3. Hang out with friends
4. Make a difference
5. Make myself useful
6. Learn something new
7. Laugh till my stomach seriously hurts.

Se7en things I don't want/like to do:

1. Wake up early
2. Eat my veggies
3. Lose a friend
4. To be backstabbed
5. Be all girlie
6. Be what people expect me to be other than what I really am.
7. Be the one to bear bad news.

Se7en things I say most often (With Explanations):

1. Nice : I say this when I like what I'm hearing but just have no comment.
2. Shut up : People give me a hard time all the time and this is my reply. hehe...
3. Ya 7araaam! (You forbidden) : I say this when I don't know what to say.
4. Wleeeeee : I say this when I sence trouble lurking by.
5. Wain ya? (where you?) :I say this when I see a person leaving without saying bye.
6. Shoo ya?! (what you?) : I say this when somebody does or says something I don't like at all.
7. L3ama (get blinded) : I say this when I'm just surprised, usually in a bad way.

Hahahahaha... I couldn't think of proper translation, so I just put the direct translation. :P

Se7en people I want to pass this tag to (Ladies First):

1. Ghalia
2. Dina
3. Zena
4. Ihsan
5. Yazan
6. Hasan
7. Zaid

Holy Month of Ramadan

The holy month of Ramadan is the ninth month of the Muslim calendar and the holiest. It is during this month that Muslims observe the Fast of Ramadan. Lasting for the entire month, Muslims fast during the daylight hours and in the evening eat small meals and visit with friends and family. It is a time of worship and contemplation. A time to strengthen family and community ties.

During the last ten days of Ramadan, Muslims seek and observe what is known as the "Night of Power," which marks the first revelation of the Qur'an Muslims worldwide spend these last ten nights of Ramadan in solid devotion, spend extra time in prayer and devotion, retreating to the mosque to stay all night(i'tikaf), reciting special supplications (du'a), and reflecting on the meaning of Allah's message to us.

To me, the last 10 days are the most beautiful 10 days of my life. Connecting with my creater and just being moved to the degree of tears is the outmost beautiful experience in my life.

Last year I've never felt closer to God as a prayed and supplicated all night long. My cousin who's like my baby sister was by my side and I couldn't ask for anything more. The prayer was well organized with the Imam and everything just went smoothly and perfectly. His beautiful voice reciting the Qur'an as we prayed just filled my heart and couldn't help but to be moved, the supplication was the most beautiful thing. It touched everything I was feeling and it was one of the most peaceful supplications. I People were nice enough and clean enough. It wasn't crowded at all. I couldn't ask for anything more.

Unlike in Abu Dhabi, here in Damascus this year, the experience was horrifying. I wasn't too sure if I was crying because of me being moved for connecting with God, or is it I was feeling sorry for myself, or for this Ummah. People were all on top of each other, nothing was organized. Women, are just horrifying throwing trash everywhere, bringing their kids around like it's some picnic with food all over the place. I couldn't concentrate on praying. My mind wandered 10 million miles away. I wanted to pray for this Ummah and for me being able to make a difference but nope, instead I ended up praying for me to be back in the UAE next year in the last 10 days in Ramadan. The supplication that the Imam was reciting somewhat threw me off. It got political and supplicating for the Imam of the mosque. I found that totally strange.

I tried to make the best out of it anywyas, I got some sort of enjoyment but mostly I was seriously disappointed. As my thanks, I usually pick up trash, cleaning the mosque as I leave. It's said that one is rewarded greatly for cleaning up the mosque. I wanted to do that because that is what I usually do... It brings joy to my heart but last night as I was doing that, women were looking at me, with the weirdest look in their faces. It's like they had no idea what I was doing and why. I was thinking, don't you people want to be rewarded or at least be clean?

I have no idea what more to say... All I can say is that, I hope it's not like that in all the mosques in Syria.

My First Week in Syria

It's been a while since I've been updating my blog and that's because I've finally moved to Syria. Phew… I must admit this is the outmost frustrating moves of my life; it's just plainly a pain in the ass.

Everything was packed and astonishingly I didn't forget anything of much importance and my dad didn't nag as he would usually in a situation like this. So I was pretty comfortable. Even though I was 1/2 hour late to the airport everything went smoothly and got my favorite seat in economy class. I took everything that happened as a sign that everything is going to be just fine; little did I know what complications I'll face as soon as I set foot in Damascus Airport.

As soon as I set foot in Damascus, I started to get nervous about what state I'll actually find my computer and my synthesizer and how would I actually pass them through customs. Got me a cart, head to the luggage claim, and got a guy to help me out. I was exhausted, frustrated, nervous, and seriously hungry and the customs were trying to give me a serious hard time. I didn't want to yell or argue, so I decided to play another game. I played the cute, innocent girl who was clueless. After a long procedure of scaring living daylights out of me by telling me that I'll need to pay 50,000 SP ($1,000), I was ready to burst into tears. If I didn't pay right then they'll keep the synthesizer till they get paid. I wanted to call anybody to ask for the money but my credit on my credit on my phone was expired so I couldn't use it. I went out without my stuff just to inform my uncle what's holding me up. Lucky me, nobody was there. I went back in the verge of tears. I guess the guy in charge felt sorry for me so decided that I'd pay only 5,000 SP. I couldn't care less anymore. I just wanted to go home after 45 mins dealing with the customs. I paid and they gave me a receipt for future reference. YAY!!!

As I was unpacking my computer 2 days later, I heard something rattling inside the case. I figured, I'd try to turn it on anyways. What surprise! It didn't work. To my luck the cooler had fallen off taking the CPU with it since it's glued to it. The CPU was in a terrible condition. I tried adjusting the genuinely bent pins and I believe I did a good job but didn't want to risk putting it back on the motherboard by myself and break it. I seriously wanted to kill who was responsible for it, but I seriously didn't know who was.

2 friends of mine (Baher and Iyad) came to help me out. Since I couldn't let them in my place of society customs reasons, we just carried my computer to a coffee shop and took a look there. Unfortunately, the attempt of putting back the CPU back was a failure because one of the pins broke as Baher tried to put it back in. I thought that the CPU at this point is a goner and had to buy another one.

Iyad seriously put up with me for a week trying to figure out something. We ended up going to elbahsa (technology market) to see what options we have. One place actually offered to fix it. I never heard that CPUs can be fixed but it was worth a try. I'd be saving 11,000 SP if it actually did work. 2 days later Iyad and I went back with my computer to see if the CPU does work on my computer. I literately jumped up and down from the joy of knowing my computer is working fine again.

Good thing during this week of waiting, I started my job and it's pretty neat. At the moment it's just training so nothing totally exciting but just knowing the secrets of the trade makes it fun.

What a start in Syria, eh? I really with all my heart like to thank Iyad for his concern and all the help he offered. Iyad, THANK YOU!!! I don't know what I would've done without you. Probably I'd bother my cousin, instead. Hehehehe…

Driver jailed for bestiality... Uhmmm ok?.

A report made by Nasouh Nazzal, Staff Reporter from Gulf News...

Ras Al Khaimah: A man has been sentenced to three months in jail after pleading guilty to charges of bestiality.
The camel involved in the case is to be put down in accordance with Islamic law.

A court official said the Bangladeshi, who worked as a driver, had been spotted going into his employer's barn on a regular basis.

His employer became suspicious as his duties did not involve him dealing with animals.

The official said the employer, a UAE national, followed his driver into the barn one day and saw him starting to have sex with a female camel.

The owner lost his temper and started beating him. He then took him to the police station to press charges.

The official said the driver confessed to police that he used to have sex with one particular camel.

The police arrested him and the case was referred to the Public Prosecution.

The official added the man told the prosecution that he had fallen in love with the camel and had sex with the animal.

The emirate's Criminal Court sentenced him on Wednesday to three months in jail, to be followed by deportation.

It also stated that the camel be put down as its meat would now be tainted.

The animal will be put down at the emirate's slaughterhouse, a representative from the Public Prosecution will be in attendance.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Uhmmm... now that's seriously disgusting... It reminds of this joke.

Doctor Dave had slept with one of his patients and felt guilty all day
long. No matter how much he tried to forget about it, he couldn't. The
guilt and sense of betrayal was overwhelming. But every once in while
he'd hear an internal, reassuring voice in his head that said;



"Dave don't worry about it", you aren't the first medical practitioner to
sleep with one of their patients, and you won't be the last, and you're
single,just let it go."

But invariably another voice in his head would bring him back to
reality,




Whispering..







"But, Dave..............









you're a vet"

Cats from Hell...

It doesn't matter if they are pretty or ugly, home cats or stray cats; these cats have one thing in common, they look seriously evil. Creepy... MOMMY!!!

Random Ranting...

As I sit here enjoying the music I've been creating lately, I feel such joy in my heart and soul. Is it because the music is beautiful? Well, of course, I'm going to say the music is beautiful. It's my creation. hehehe... But that's not even close to the point. Well, it's not the music pieces that are making me happy. It's the fact that I created something. One of my greatest joys in life is to be able to create. It doesn't matter what it is, whether writing a song or a poem, or composing a musical piece or even drawing some abstract art.

I'm realizing more and more, if I wasn't able to create, I'm the most depressed human being and I often do the worst things I can do for my soul. I become seriously moody, I feel worthless and my self esteem rushes down faster than you can blink. I seriously feel the weight of life is taking it's toll on me. I lose focus and purpose. With all that said, I usually burst out on innocent people who are nothing but gentle and sweet. You know who you are, Sowwy... I might still be the bouncy person as I am but deep down in me there's something missing. I can't be satisfied at all without creating anything that doesn't reflect on who I am and what I'm feeling or living at each particular moment.

For a while, I was totally being unproductive and when I did something, it wasn't done in best shape and form. I was thinking, "Well, it's good enough. Why bother?" Well, it's that kind of thinking that'll get me nowhere. Once I started putting things together really well, magic arose and my whole spirit changed. Well, I do have to admit, I had some downfalls when it came with my work. I had an opportunity to let Sami Yusuf listen to some of my music. I had some really good stuff at first. He liked them and he thought I had potential. That's when I actually cared to create something really good. When he asked for more work. I gave him what I had, and didn't really create anything new. That was a serious mistake. Simply because the music wasn't put in it best form. The recordings were great, the performance surely needed to be better. It just wasn't tight at all. I just gave in whatever I had, didn't even think about it. Then when I was told he wasn't impressed, the huge mistake that I've done seriously hit me. This is not some friend who's like your work anyways. This is a business man who wants to find some seriously good talent. I just proved to him that I wasn't. So I figured I needed to do something serious about it.

After doing some serious thinking, I needed to change my tools because the tools I had simply didn't do it for me. I did all I can do with it and needed a serious upgrade. After a lot of dreaming and working hard on begging my dad to get it for me, I finally got a Yamaha Motif ES 6, the greatest Synthesizer ever. THANK YOU, DAD... The sounds on that machine totally inspired me and what I thought it would do to me, actually did happen. It inspired me by all means. Everything I've been feeling for the past year, from pain and joy came out in 2 musical pieces I've compsed, Hope and Struggle. There are still more to come, believe me. It's not ending here. There is a lot to express and a lot more create.

The bottom line is I seriously hate myself when I'm not doing what I love doing the most. Hell, people have told me that I'm more likeable when I'm productive. I heard this from 2 people just tonight. They didn't need to say it though, I already knew. Well, I guess things will be different because my job requires me to be productive and always on go with creativity. I guess that should do wonders for me. YAY!! Can't wait till I start. Woohoo!!

If you're interested to hear my material, good and bad, just drop by my music website

Struggle is already up there... If you want to check out Hope you'll have to wait till it's verified. It should be up in 3 days time.

Zodiac... A Syrian Rock Band.

Zodiac is a Syrian rock band founded back in 1997 by Anas Abdul Moumen, Maen Rajab and Anas Abu Kous. The band started playing popular cover songs but after their bass player Omar Harb joined in 1998, they then started to write there own material. Now they are in the process of recording there debut album with new singer Chadi Ali. The band now consists of Chadi Ali: Lead Vocalist, Hazem Al Ani: Pianist and Keyboardist, Anas Abdul Moumen: Guitarist, Maen Rajab: Guitarist, Omar Harb: Bassist, Nasser Hamdi: Drummer.

I personally have heard about Zodiac about a year ago but didn't get to see nor hear them till this summer. I have to admit, I didn't expect to be seriously impressed by their work. Their music is blend of nu metal and rock with a twist of Arabic influence. I was touched and proud to know that they are fellow Syrians. It has been 8 years since they started and they still are strong and firm and believe they can make it into the mainstream music worldwide. I believe they can because simply, they are amazing, new and something different from what's out there. I'll personally have to give a special thanks to Amr for inviting me to the show. I'll go see them again anytime.

You can download of one of Zodiac's songs "Ma Tgheebee" by Anas Abdul Moumen

Tell me what you guys think.

You can also check out their bassist, Omar Harb's website.

Are your eyes tired?

You need to click on them to actually get the ful effect. Enjoy... Don't stare too long or you'll get dizzy like I did. :D

I don't get it.

Here I am trying to live my life as peacefully as possible and then people want to be my hero and save me. Uhmmm. Who ever mentioned that I needed help to begin with?? I'm going through changes in my life and I'd love to just adjust to it instead of people trying to create something that doesn't even exist so I'll be comfortable. I can handle myself but for some reason some people don't believe that. They think I'm this poor little girl who always needs to run to somebody for help because I can't handle anything. I don't why people can't see that I'm strong enough. They lie to me, they keep things from me, they treat me like I'm a victim. I'm not needy... If I've ever gave the impression that I am, I guess it's all a misunderstanding of some things I'm trying to deal with on my own. If that makes any sense.

I'm not the average girl, I've dealt with a lot in my life. Yeah I'm 27 but I've experienced more than most Arab girls. I still get treated like I'm a baby. No offense to guys who have the need to be heros but, don't treat me like some poor little girl because that's one thing I'm not.

I just find it pretty interesting that other girls don't do this to me. They are just normal and don't have to prove anything to me but on the other hands, I have no idea why most guys treat me like this. Yes, I know I'm an open book but that's because I'm open, direct and I've got nothing to hide. I guess, they see this as a weakness. I feel it's great because people will truly see who am I if they actually stop searching for the meaning behind what they see. I am what you see.

I know it's a guy thing to want to be hero in general and I totally respect that but when it comes to them laying to me, keeping some truth from me and treating me like a baby, that I don't not accept what so ever. Just give it to me as it is.

My final word, ok some of the guys who might read thing might think I'm referring to them. I'm not to referring to anybody specific. I'm talking in general and that's because I've been dealing with his issue for a while now and just today, somebody from my past decided to drop me a line to be my hero again and he triggered some seriously annoying issues.

I don't mean to offend anybody and if anybody did, I'm sorry. I'm just being my honest and direct me. I'm just expressing my true self.

My Blog....The results are in.

Now that I got the results in, I removed the poll.

Results: 47% (9 people) of people voted that this blog is user friendly
53% (10 people) of people voted that this blog isn't friendly.

Since the majority doesn't think that this blog is user friendly, I'm going to change the format to something easier. I'll now have everything all clearly put in one page. So give me sometime to get the new design in and actually put it up. I wanted my blog to be more active, especially my chatbox that the majority is neglecting. :(

Thanks to all those who voted and special thanks to those who actually gave me feedback...

Give me some energy, baby!!!

Printed from www.care2.com

Raise Your Energy Level
Adapted from Creative Visualization, by Ronald Shone (Inner Traditions, 1998).

Simple Solution
If you need more energy, or you are mildly depressed, this creative visualization will help: the author says he has found it to be most effective.

Work during the day can certainly deplete our energy. Some days seem more draining than others, and some begin with a low stock of energy because of a poor night’s sleep. One reason that we rest and sleep is so that we can restore the body’s energy. This visualization will also achieve a natural raising of your body’s energy level. Find out how:

While in a relaxed state, you imagine yourself lying on a bed with your eyes closed. A beam of sunlight comes down from the sun and envelops your whole body. You then rise up and pass along the beam of sunlight into the heart of the sun. (At this stage, imagine yourself naked.) When you reach the heart of the sun, you open up your arms and legs to make an X shape; this includes opening up your hands and fingers. You then simply imagine that you are absorbing into your body health-giving energy. Really feel the energy going into your body. (Your body may very well tingle during this creative visualization.) If you like, you can at this point add a series of suggestions. They can go something like this:

I can feel the energy from the sun passing into my body. Yes, my body is drawing energy from the sun--energy that my body needs, energy that will revitalize all my body, energy that will pass into every cell and every organ of my body. (Keep this up until you feel that your body has sufficient energy--a feeling that is not too difficult to recognize.)

When you feel fully energized, bring your arms and legs together, pass back down the sunbeam, and return to your lying position on the bed.

Shop for Supplies
Creative Visualization

Copyright: Adapted from Creative Visualization, by Ronald Shone (Inner Traditions, 1998). Copyright (c) 1998 by Ronald Shone. Reprinted by permission of Inner Traditions.

My desire... at this moment.

When I was in Malaysia, I came across the most beautiful man made creation I've ever known. The sounds are realistic enough to leave you in awe. I was seriously having a ball with this baby. It's so simple and fun to use. I've been craving to get this synthesizer for the longest time and my dream might actually come true at the end of this month. I'm sure then I can go back on creating music but this time it'll be a lot more professional. Maybe then I'd be able to sell some records. Hehehe...
Not only do the new MOTIF ES Music Production Synthesizers feature the largest wave ROM of any workstation keyboard available (175 MB in 16-bit linear format), but that Extensive Sonic library is at the heart of the most expressive, most musical synthesis system on the planet, bar none. The Enhanced Sound set of the ES 1,859 waveforms – the majority of them newly sampled specifically for the MOTIF ES series – provide the foundation for 1,024 outstanding normal voices plus 65 drum kits. There are even Mix Voices so you can edit and create your own Voices will listening to your songs and store them right along with the song data. The MOTIF ES delivers an extraordinary sonic depth and musical response. The range of sounds it produces is stunning — from the Emulative Sounds of acoustic piano and orchestra to the Extreme Synthesis of cutting-edge hiphop and electronica. You only have to hear the ES once to know this is the best sounding, most Evolved Synthesizer Yamaha has ever made.

The newly designed tone generator chip offers true 128-note polyphony that gives you the freedom to create intricate compositions using the full gamut of the MOTIF ES Exceptional Sonic power. These instruments are designed for serious music production. The newly developed synth engine offers new synthesizer parameters and faster, more precise envelope control.

If you want to check out the sounds of this beauty just click here. Then click on media files and just enjoy listening.

What next?!?!

Well, it's been almost a year since I've graduated college in Malaysia and believe it or not, I still don't have my diploma. The campus in Malaysia finally got it from Australia 4 months after I graduated in Oct. 2004. Since in the Arab world they love to make it a living hell for it's people, I needed to certify my diploma along with my transcripts at the Ministry of Education and the Ministry of foreign Affairs in Malaysia before sending them over to be certified again by the Ministry of Education in the UAE. The procedure at the ministry in the UAE alone takes about 3 months.

My college in Malaysia are taking care of getting my papers certified. The first email I got from them was April 13th 2005 telling me that they're taking care of it all. The guy in charge kept sending me emails later to keep me posted. I thought all was going fine until what I feared the most and was certainly expecting from Malaysian officials actually did happen. I got this beautiful reassuring email from my college today:

"Dear Sara,I am sorry to say that I have some bad news. The ministry of education here has informed me that they have lost/misplaced your documents that I sent for certification. I made some noise at their office and was able to meet their head who reaffirmed me that your case will be looked into immediately. The officer in charge has apologized and has said that she will try to expidite the matter ASAP. I will be meeting her later this week and once I have more information, I will let you know.

Regards,

Suthan"

That's is one of the reasons why I hated living in Malaysia... Nothing gets done unless you scream and get some people in trouble. I had to put up with it at school, with cab drivers and even doctor's offices etc... The crappy thing is that I can't get a proper job in the UAE until I get all my papers certified. ARGGGGGGGGGGGGH!!

So what do you think? Is it better here in Syria or there in Malaysia. I see it that it's all the same. It's been 11 months and it's not even close for me to get my certified proof of education. I can't believe that stupid piece of paper can be that essential in getting job. I'm beyond pissed off and I just feel like going down to Malaysia and kick some ass.

My second tag...

Thank you Zena for the tag. :P here we go. It gives me something to post. hahaha..

10 years ago: I was about 17. It was my senior year of high school. I have to admit it was one of the weirdest years of my life. First of all, I changed high schools so new faces where all around, a whole new different system. I was pretty much goodie goodie 2 shoes, I didn't know what I wanted from life I tried to find where I belonged but I didn't feel I fitted anywhere. I didn't know who I really was. The biggest deal was my high school graduation and the song that wrote and performed in the graduation ceremony. Pretty much I didn't have a life at all.

5 years ago: I was around 22. I was in college in the US. My life revolved around the college radio station. I was the music director. The radio station pretty much took much of my time. Most of the other members where life family. They were all crazy people and that's what I loved about it. That period of my life, I was still searching for who I am. I was in my rocker phase. My hair was orange and red and brown. Wore the rockers clothes. I pretty much lived the rock and roll life style.

1 year ago: I was a quarter of a century and an extra year. :D Hmmm. I recently graduated from college in Malaysia. Did some traveling to Syria after going back to the UAE. Some seriously life changing events took place in my life. My heart for the first time fell in love with the most loving man on earth. Things didn't work out and I was crushed and I changed dramatically since then. Became more religious just stopped taking crap from people.

Tomorrow: The first thing that comes to mind is same old shit different day. Hahaha... I try to live the moment for the most part. So I try not to think about it. But as Incubus say, "whatever tomorrow brings, I'll be there."

5 Snacks I enjoy: Chocolate, cheese, chips, frozen yogurt and biscuits

5 bands & artists I like: Incubus, Julia Butrous, Sting, Train and The Beatles.

5 Things I'd do with $100.000.000: Invest some of it to get more money :P, give some to some charity, save some for rainy day, give some to my parents. Spend the rest for fun.

5 Places I would run away to: Boston- USA,Byron Bay- Australia, Switzerland, Malaysia and England.

5 Bad habits I have: I'm totally messy, I cry all the time, I pick my nose in public hahaha, I tend to be lazy sometimes, I nag a lot.

5 things I like doing: Listening to music, sing, read, be productive in anything creative, being a friend.

5 things I will never wear: Uhmm. I pretty much worse everything in my life time, but probably multicolored clothes that don't actually fit together and seriously tight ass clothes or anything trashy.

5 TV Shows I like: Friends, 2 guys and a girl, Life Makers (sona3 el7ya, Amr Khaled), Yallah Shabab, Touched by an Angel

5 People I'd like to meet: Amr Khaled, Mesut Kurits, Julia Butrous, my friend Israa in Egypt and my friend Hajar in England

5 Movies I like: Lord of the Rings, Dead Poets Society, Good Will Hunting, Spirited Away and The Message.

5 biggest joys at the moment: My connection with my creator, my loved ones (true friends and family), my cat, my loving parents and my health.


I now tag Nuralhuda , Juwaireyah and Hasan... You got to love me for it. :P

Weeping Willow

I first came across this tree in Boston. I instantly fell in love with it. I got to see one today and I just remembered how beautiful this tree is. I thought I'd share some info about my favorite tree.
The weeping willow is an original native to China. It was long ago introduced into Europe and the Middle East and later on into the USA. These trees were once thought to be the biblical willows of Babylon, hence the scientific name Salix babylonica. The Weeping Willow is a fast growing and majestic tree. Growth can be six to eight feet or more a year. As the tree gets larger, the long thin branches hang down, creating a flowing umbrella of shade. It is widely grown where the soil is moist. This tree has to have plenty of water. You will usually find this tree where there is a good water supply. If the water supply is scarce, the roots of this tree will stretch as long as they have to to find it. It has been noted that the roots of weeping willows, grown in the front yards of homes, have wrapped themselves around the house's water pipes and burst them for water. So, it is best to keep weeping willows away from sewer lines or other underground piping. You will find this tree in cities, as well, for it is tolerant of smoke and grime. The weeping willow is actually wild in some areas now. Like other willows it can grow from stem cuttings. One characteristic of this tree are the long, limp, pendant twigs. Another is the narrow, lance shaped leaves that are two to seven inches long. The minute seeds are covered with white hairs. The bark is grayish brown and fissured. The weeping willow is a beautiful tree that will look that way anywhere it is grown.

Salix 'Babylonica' This beautiful weeping willow (the best of the green weeping willows) is a hardy deciduous tree. It forms a gracefully rounded crown to about 50 feet in height with a spread just as wide. It's bark is dark gray and deeply furrowed. Branches divide into many thin stems that hang in pendulous curtains to the ground. This willow is very adaptable and will thrive in most soil type.

Habitat: Prefers very moist soils. Often seen growing as an ornamental tree around margins of ponds, lakes, and streams.

Characteristics: Weeping willow attains a height of 30-60 feet; the trunk having a diameter of 1-3 feet. May be larger. The leaves of this species are very long (1-5 feet), with greenish-yellow twigs.

Mars is comming SOON

I got this email and I thought I'd share it with you guys who is interested. I know I am. :D I don't know how true it is but it'll be fun to check it out .

Planet Mars will be brightest in the night sky starting August. It will look as large as the full moon to the naked eye. This will culminate on August 27 when Mars comes to within 35 million miles of earth. Be sure to watch the sky on August 27 12:30am [acc. to IST]. It will look like the Earth has two moons. The next time Mars will be this close is in 2287.

Life goes on...

With my ups and downs lately, yesterday has been pretty much a good day. I talked to a really good friend of mine and as usual I benefited from his words of wisdom. He's is a true gem in my humble opinion. Other than that, I met up with other friends later that night and discussed a few things about this trip we're going on this Friday. I'm totally looking forward to this trip

I got home about 11:00 last night and nobody was home. I called my best friend in this world back in the UAE. As I was talking to her my mom arrived home telling me to get off the phone quick because she wanted to call my brother in the US. That wasn't the usual thing for to do from Syria. Then she told me that my sister in law is pregnant. I was like OH MY GOD!!!! I'm going to be an aunt in March next year, inshallah. I can't believe that my parents are finally going to be come grandparents. WOOHOO!! We're getting older, man. Hmmm, I don't like that part. Hehehehe... So I'm happy and I thank God that I am... Inshallah, I'll be able to spread this happiness to everybody around me. :D

May All you of you be happy. :P Congratulate me now. yallah. Hehehehe... I'm soooooo happy!!! My brother is going to be a father. YAY!!!

Worse places to be bitten...

About 2 night ago mosquitoes decided to use my arm to feast on. It was their dinner party. I have no idea how many mosquitoes were there but I got bitten from hand to my upper arm over 20 bites in one night. It's horrible but at least I didn't get bitten in the most annoying places to be bitten...

1) My Palms (It hurts too much to scratch)
2) Between my fingers (It's so hard to reach)
3) Right around my nails. (It also hurts and you still get it right)
4) My back (It's so damn hard to reach)
5) My ass (It's embarrassing to scratch that in front of people)
6) The soles of my feet. (Oh my God it hurt like a MoFo even when you walk on it.)

These are my worst places to be bitten. What about you??