Wednesday, May 31, 2006

Silly Coincidence.

I know this might be silly to share but I just thought I'd share the coincidence. I was searching for some info about what movies theaters are playing the Da Vinci Code here in the UAE and I got this from an English teaching site that I found while searching online. The Ironic thing is that I bought a new CD, actually 3 CD's, the other day I am going to Africa soon. Hehehehe...

infinitive of purpose

The infinitive with to is used to talk about people's purposes, the reasons why they do things.

*Sara is going to the shop to buy a new CD. (= because she wants to buy a new CD)

* I'm going to Africa to have a vacation. (= because I want to have a vacation)

Do not use "for" before the infinitive of purpose!

* Sara is going to the shop for to buy a new CD.

* I'm going to Africa for to have a vacation

Thursday, May 25, 2006


So the day has finally come... I'm actually going back to the UAE to visit my parents and my kitties. YAY!! Oddly enough, I'm traveling in 8 hours and I still didn't pack. Bleh... I really don't like it. It's a drag. Well, it's a good thing that I don't have much to pack.

Everything is good. Finally found a home for my little rascal, my place is sorta tidy. It'll be more tidy once I pack my stuff that is all over the place.

YAY!! I'm excited and very sleepy.. Hence I can't think of anything to write.

So good nigh


Monday, May 22, 2006

My Conclusion.

Human nature is quite interesting with all its complexes. I've been surprising myself how I'm really aware of how I'm behaving and why I am behaving the way I am. It's not good enough though. I'm being reactive more than proactive simply because, it's easier to handle even though I know that the consequences are relentless. Maybe it's something I'm used to and is what everybody around me seems to be doing. I guess, I'm just comfortable, not really absorbing the concept of the consequence.

One of things thing I really am not enjoy in particular is letting my anger out on somebody who doesn't deserve it at all. It's all because I don't feel he understands. I have to explain everything to him thoroughly again and again. Then I don't know how I end up listening about his things. This guy is one of the most loving human beings on earth but I need more. I feel disconnected as it is and he doesn't know how to deal with my situation. So why am I mad at him in particular? It's because of me. I expect too much of him. I know he's doing the best he can and I seriously appreciate it but I need more.

My feelings of loneliness is turning into anger. According to a therapist I once talked to, that is a good thing. Anger is one of the signs of being fed up and when I'm fed up, I'll actually do something about it to make things better if I'm in a positive state of mind otherwise I'll be a disaster. That is unlikely in my opinion. I just wish it didn't involve me pushing the people that care about away from me. I do have a habit of doing that. It's either I don't want to them to see me weak because of the fear they might leave or that I feel they are not giving me what I need so they get fed up and they leave.

Wow!! As I am typing this, I figured the problem... I'm afraid of people leaving me because that is what usually happens. So what do I do? I push them away before I get too attached then they leave. Quite interesting observation. I should be my own therapist. hehehe.. Yeah, I just don't know what to do about it though... I'm sure within time, I'll get it right.

Sunday, May 21, 2006

People come into your life for a reason

People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. When you know which one it is, you will know what to do for that person.

When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually. They may seem like a Godsend and they are.

They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrong doing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.

Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.

Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has come to share, grow or learn. They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it, it is real. But only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons, things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

Sunday, May 14, 2006

The Importance of Mothers in Islam...

Here's a little something I thought I'd share with you guys. I believe it simply says it all about how in Islam we should take care of a woman before anything. Just to clear the misconceptions about women are not treated well in Islam.

One day a man came to see the Prophet Muhammad, peace and blessings be upon him. It seemed that he was trying to solve something but couldn't quite work it out. So he asked the Prophet. ''Tell me, O Prophet!'' I have many relatives and many friends whom I love, and whom I wish to care for and help. But I often find it difficult to decide which of them has the greatest claim upon me? Which of them should come first?'' The Prophet replied immediately, ''Your mother should come first and before all others.''

The man was very pleased to have this clear guidance from the Prophet. But of course there were all his other relatives and his friends, so he asked ''and after my mother, who has the greatest claim upon me?'' The Prophet's reply this second time surprised him. ''Your mother!'' he said again.

The man wondered why the Prophet was repeating himself. Perhaps he had not spoken clearly, the man thought, so he asked the question again, ''What I want to know is, after my mother, who has the greatest claim upon me? Again the Prophet said ''your mother!''

Your mother, your mother, your mother!

The Prophet had now said it three times. Slowly, the man realized why he had done so. ''The Prophet means that my mother is extremely important, so much so that my duty to her must be stressed over and over again. Even so, the man's thoughts ran on, ''what about all the others I love and wish to care for?'' Still uncertain and wanting to know more, he once again turned to the Prophet and said, ''and after my mother, who comes after her? Is there anyone besides her?'' The Prophet then replied ''after your mother, your father.'' ''And then?'' asked the man. ''Then people who are nearest to you,'' said the Prophet. Allah's peace and blessings be upon the Prophet.

Thursday, May 11, 2006

Calling out people in Syria...

Hello readers in Syria...

I terribly need your help. I have this really cute kitten that needs a good home. He's lively and cute... I trained him myself and I took care of him myself. So he's in great condition...

The reason why I'm leaving is because I'm leaving the place I'm staying at and can't take the cat with me. So please please please, if anybody wants him please let me know as soon as possible because I'm leaving in 2 weeks and I can't put this kitten in the streets.

If anybody is interested or know somebody that might be please let me know. For people outside of Syria, I really wish I can ship him to you.

email me at

Thank you and I hope to hear from you really soon.

Saturday, May 06, 2006

True Love...

I just realized that true love does not die no matter what. When I was living back in the US I had friend that I only loved with all my heart. He was one of the most amazing human beings on earth. The sweetest, the hottest, the most loving, the most gentle human being I've ever known. His name, Mikel Cunha.

It all started back in 1999 in English class. He forgot his book so I shared mine with him. He kept dropping his pen and kept apologizing to me for the distraction. I wasn't bothered though, I thought it was cute. At that moment, for some reason I knew, I just knew, that something special is going to develop between us.

One day I was taking part of an International fair and who do I see walking around, not the least, it was Mike. He saw me and was surprised to see me all dressed up in Traditional Syrian wear. He came up to me and started talking. He mention something about him wanting to go to California to pursue his acting career. Ironically, I wanted to check out California for my music career. So that's when we exchanged numbers. We were 2 people who wanted to share their goals together. From then it a beautiful friendship has started. We joined the drama club together and let me tell ya, he is one good actor. He sure did convince me.

Then few months later, he simply dropped from the face of the earth. I stopped hearing from him and I for some reason, I never tried to contact him. Then a year later I was walking in a corridor at college and who do I bump into? No one but Mike. I was ecstatic to see him. I gave him my new number and ever since then we've been closer than ever.

I have a few wonderful memories of him. Like one I had the cancer scare he took me out to let me forget and just was the most loving human being. Drove me around Boston, and just showed me a wonderful time. Another when we were acting together, when I went over his place when he was taking part of this local reality TV show in Boston. When I was freaking out about not being able to stay in the US after 9/11, he actually offered to marry me, to keep me in the country. I remember him saying, "we're a team we need to follow our dreams in California together."

Obviously that never happened and when I couldn't go back to the US, I kicked myself in the head for not accepting. Oh well, that is what's meant to happen. I can't complain now. Anyways, so we exchanged emails since then we just lost contact again. About a year later when I was living in Malaysia I contacted him and we had a great talk. This guy just always knew how to show how much he cared. As it is I missed him terribly and that was the last time I heard from him.

It has been 3 years since we talked. Finally after trying to attempt to contact him, I get an email from a friend of mine, Blake that he has contacted him for me. Oh man, for the past few months I was suffering. I was worried sick about Mike because I hadn't heard from him for ever, I didn't know his email addy, I kept getting weird dreams about him and last but not least I couldn't when I called his home, his mom for some odd reason told me that I got the wrong number. I guess she thought I was some stalker or something. hehehe...

This is what Blake had to say in his email when he contacted Mike:

"He sounded very nice and sort of surprised yes. He asked if I was calling for Sara from the Middle East and sounded relieved when he realized I meant you. I told him you had called once and was told he did not live there anymore and that it obviously seems much harder to track someone down stateside when you are so far away. He asked where you are now and said he had not heard from you since you were in Malaysia. I said I knew that, you had told me that was about 3 years ago. He really sounded like he wanted to get a hold of you. He did not sound at all like he was smoking BC Bud...He wanted my email address too and he was thankful and very pleasant indeed to speak with. I think this is going to be the start of a beautiful relationship...I have an uber-smile for you Sara! Amazing what can turn up from chatting online twice, hey?!? "

So you can see, Mike still is thinking of me as well. Hehehehe... Now that's what I call true love. Both of us always knew that we had feelings for one another but we never did anything about it. We even discussed it. We didn't want to ruing the special friendship that we had. Well, I believe it's good that nothing happened. It only makes our relationship even more special. We never held back to tell the other how we love each other. In matter of facts his last words to me were "I love you" Of course, it's not in the sense romantically, it's said in the most innocent and loving way... It's a seriously close friendship kinda thing.

It hasn't happened yet but now we're going to be in touch again and I'm happy beyond words. I just thought I'd share this heaven like experience. What makes it odd is that Blake is a cool Canadian that I met on Couch Surfing . I never met him personally and still was able to make this sad little girl's decade :D The ironic thing is that, Mike and I had an mutual friend and I contacted him so he can help me out but nothing has happened. He told me that he'll contact Mike but that never happened. While Blake, the min he knew about the story, he tried to contact him and the next day he sends me the email telling me, it was a great success.

Sometimes, strangers are better than the people you've known for years and claim that they care about you. That's life for ya. Well, all I care now is that Mike and I are going to be in touch again and I'm super thrilled.

Thank you BLAKE!!!

Thursday, May 04, 2006

To love or not to Love?

For the past few days I've been thinking about my homeland. Well, since I've never lived here before, I'm thinking about in a whole new perspective. I've always loved Syria. It's filled with history and there are the simple fun social activities and the volunteer work etc...

Well, before I moved to Damascus, I was seriously in LOVE with Syria, especially last year. Everything about her was beautiful to me. He streets, her people, her nature her hsitory. Just simply every little thing. Maybe because last year I was in love with somebody from here that I was ready to devote my whole life to. I have no idea.. It's weird how we associate the love of a person to the places and things that has nothing to do with him/her directly.

When I was in Malaysia, all I wanted is to be in Syria... Something I never really felt in my life. The urge, the passion. I would look at pics of Syria and just yearn to be here. Mind you, I didn't know much people. Just that one guy and family.

The day finally came and I finally moved to Syria. At first I was gleaming with excitement and just was having the best time of my life. Then a dosage of reality hit me. I've been warned not to live here and a lot of people are moving out of here because they are miserable. I figured, that I should be fine.

Well, now things are weird. I don't know if I should love living in this country or hate it. The reasons why I still love this country are the same and a few extra things. I met wonderful people here who introduced me to a whole new experience I never thought I'd ever find here in Syria. One of my dearest friends to my heart Amr, has introduced to me to volunteer work here. That just made my life a whole lot better. We'd hang out and just have a ball. I've never met anybody like him in my life. There are the other bloggers as well, like Ayman, Zena, Sinan etc... They have been very wonderful.

I'll just put this in point form...

Why I love Syria:

1) The social simple life
2) The volunteer activities
3) My friends
4) The history of the country
5) The nature of this country.
6) Weird enough, my job.

Why I hate Syria:

1) The complicated part of social scene
2) Nothing is easy here.
3) Nothing is organized
4) Nothing is stable
5) People here in general
6) My job.

You might wonder how on earth do I have the same things on both my love and hate list. Well, it's simple.

I love being social with my friends and family, I can be somewhat myself. Then what I hate is I can't be 100% myself. I feel that there's something in me being surpressed and I'm often misunderstood.

My job, well. I love what I do for a job but I hate the fact, I'm a freelance audio engineer. I don't have a salary, I get paid for each project I do. Sometimes there aren't any projects and I stay home do nothing and get bored. Simply, I don't feel stable in this job at all.

I feel this seriously annoying inncer conflict. I want to go back to the UAE to be at least living with family instead of living completey alone in this one bedroom apartment. I get seriously lonely. It's depressing to walk into my place and there's nobody there to greet me and when I leave, nobody to say goodbye to. It sad, that not many come over even though I do invite them. I have no idea why.

I guess what it comes down to is that I just need something special and steady in my life. Or I just need to stop bitching and adjust to this. I have no idea... I just think, we're suppose to develop and be better and by adjusting to the chaos I feel I'll need to be unstable and chaotic. I want to improve not become worse. I have no idea what do honestly.

When you have lived in totally different environments, I think you'd become complicated. lol I don't know. I think I just need to finish a year experience of work then move back to the UAE to finish my education as I work. That is my back up plan. If my original plan works out this summer, I'll be in great condition and I'll be floating from happiness... Let's see how all this would work out.