Tuesday, August 31, 2010

New Journey to a new life.

It's been ages since I've written and that's because I didn't feel my life was going anywhere and it was just plain boring to write about and I have been living in my lowest I've been in years. Alas, InshaAllah all this will be taken care of because there's only soooo much one can take without taking charge of their own life.

A little over 2 years ago, I got married. I thought this finally lead me to settle because I've been moving around from different US states to different countries in different parts of the world for the past 10 years or so. I was wrong, my husband is even less settled than I am and so I feel I'm completely lost because now I have to worry about another as well as me. To top it he's not exactly the easiest person to get along with. Nonetheless, I did marry him for the right reasons. His heart is in the right place. He's can be gentle and affectionate. He is a practicing, God fearing man. We just are having difficulties because we're not settled and he's been out of job since he's been out of college last year.

We've been living together in Canada for a little over a year and before that we were in Los Angeles. For that whole year in Canada I've been on a extended visit visa and it expires tomorrow. Tonight, I'm heading back home in which I haven't been in for 2 years. I terribly miss home and I'm all excited. The only problem is, when I leave Canada, I have no idea when I'll be able to come back. It all depends when I get my Permanent Residence Card from the Embassy in Abu Dhabi, where I grew up. This might take another year or it might take a couple of months. So only God knows how long I'll be away from Canada. It's more than ok though. I need a break from everything around and be around my family who are my strongest support group I have and I'm thankful for having that.

Tonight, I'm ready to travel back to my home country Syria. From there, I'm planning to take a long journey around the area. Syria, Turkey, Cyprus, Malaysia and then lastly Egypt. Of course I'll probably go to Lebanon to meet up with friends as well. It'll be healing process. I want to document the journey of finding myself again because ever since I got married, I don't know who I am anymore. I've gotten so used to being alone and taking care of myself, not answering to anybody at all.

Well, this is just an intro of what I'll be writing about in the next year. I'm excited and scared at the same time. I believe this is normal since I'll be separated from my husband and my new life in Canada and back to my old that I've let go for marriage. We'll see how it'll go.