Sunday, December 25, 2005

Trip to Maaloula

It was on a Friday morning when 6 young international voyagers; a charming couple from Germany, Lars and Katharina, a loving Australian, Attila, a darling Peruvian, Gabriela, and the two just fabulous locals, Feras and I, emerged together on a stupendous adventure at Maaloula, Syria.

Top left to right: Lars, Katherina and Attila.
Botton Left to right: Gabriela, Feras and Me.

It was an hour decent ride on a bus from Damascus to Maaloula is a village whose inhabitants are mostly Christian.. All we talked about is current affairs. What else would anybody talk about these days? Me, Attila, Gabriela, Lars and Katharina pretty much sat near other but Feras sat a little further from us, which was good because he got to meet up with a girl who actually works as guide at one of a few gorgeous churches over there. So that worked great for us.

When we reached there, we took a look at some gorgeous ancient churches then the real escapade started when we went to the hills for some rock climbing. We all had a blast. I find it quite interesting that in summer when a bunch of us went to Bait Jin and did some hiking, I couldn't finish; I was so nauseated out of exhaustion and dehydration. This time, I was just out of breath but I kept up pretty well. I'm not too sure if I'm more in shape this time or is it that the weather does a huge role. That day was freezing cold. It even snowed a little bit. I sure did miss the feeling of snow drops hitting my face was a walk. It was like some sort of relief. Attila himself got very excited because he has never seen snow in his life.

I'll have to admit some of the caves on the hills and mountains look like that they can be used for some SciFi movie. I felt like I was I belonged in Star Wars and I'm just waiting for Jedis to come to tell us "May the force be with us" Or the Imperial army to force us to join the "dark side" or we're doomed. Other than that, some the pathways in the village are just gorgeous. The residential area is somewhat primitive but that what I loved about it. It was very simple and most of it was all natural and with the amount of stairs, I can say that it is one healthy lifestyle these people have.

I think we walked all over the village then stopped at a local restaurant to have something to drink and eat. To our amusement the TV was turned on VH1 and we couldn't help but sing along with songs playing on TV. We all reminisced our past as we sang each song loudly. It was mostly me, Attila and Gabriela. I'm surprised we didn't get kicked out of the place. I recall that when we were leaving the restaurant to catch the bus back to Damascus the guys at the restaurant seem to be happy to see us go. Go figure…

We didn't stop singing when we actually got on the bus. We sang all sorts of songs; we sang some, Christmas carols, oldies, nursery rhymes, TV show themes and modern rock songs. We got the whole bus quiet as we sang. Even Feras entertained us with his harmonica playing. It was just fun with laughter and just enjoying our time.

All in all this day was one of the most fun days ever since I moved to Syria, 2 months ago. This trip made me realize that there is so much in Syria I'm missing out. It's ironic that it takes backpackers for me to get to know more of my own country. Hence, I decided to join and just meet more people and get more connections because God knows when if one day I'll visiting their neck of the wood. Now that I think it'll happen but it'll be fun to know people from all over the world; a lot more to learn.

Tuesday, December 20, 2005

Syria, my love.

وما أدراك ما الوطن بالنسبة للسوريين
سورية هي تلك الرغبة التي تعتريك لتناول " كاسة شاي " وأنت تأكل الجبنة البيضاء البلدية،وذاك الخمول الذي يدفعك بعد

وجبة الغذاء الدسمة إلى قيلولة غالية،
هي ذاك المزيج الفوضوي الذي يجري في شوارع العاصمة،
آلاف من السيارات والبشر المختلطة وفق منظومة معقدة لا تستطيع أن تدركها أو تفهم آلية
عملها ولكنها في النهاية تعمل، تمتزج، تتحرك، وتنفصل.........
وتتلاشى الحركة في الشوارع لتبدأ الحياة في المنازل التي تحب السهر،
وتبقى البيوت المتراكمة المتسلقة جبل قاسيون مضاءة حتى يطفئوها الفجر

الذي يعلنه صوت الآذان..
سورية هي فيروز في الصباح.. و" سيرة الحب " في ليل دمشقي طويل..

أو موال شجي عتيق على أنغام قد حلبي .
سورية.. نشرة الأخبار بين عشق الرجال وكره النساء،
هي السياسة التي ندمنها دون أن نتعاطها..

خوف صبية عائدة إلى البيت في مساء متأخر،
هي حب مراهق لبنت الجيران، هي وجوه

الناس التي ألفناها وقصص البيوت التي تناقلناها،
هي النميمة في صبحية " نسوان "، و " قعدة " رجالية في مقهى بين
طاولة الزهر وعبق الدخان..

سورية هي جلسة حول " بحرة " في دار قديم تجمعنا " قرقعة " أركيلة،
عشقناها وهي ترسم تنهيدة ألم في الهواء،
هي عدوى الضحك على طرفة " بايخة " تنتشر بين الأصحاب وتتمادى لتصبح

قهقهة عالية لا تعبأ لا بالمكان والزمان..
سورية هي محجبة وسافرة تعيش في بيت واحد،

وطبخة " شاكرية " على مائدة كريم دعا إليها كل الجيران،
مسيحي ومسلم الكل يحمدون الله على النعمة ويدعون أن يحفظها من الزوال..
سورية هي نزعة طفل للتسرب إلى الشارع واللعب مع أولاد الجيران،
هي رائحة " الطبيخ " تفوح عند باب كل دار وقت الغذاء،
وجلسة دافئة لأفراد العائلة حول مدفأة المازوت في ليلة باردة..
سورية هي الحارة والأصحاب،

المدرسة والطريق الذي " تسكعناه " مئات المرات،
هو الطاولة التي درسنا عليها والغرفة التي تشاركنا بها إخوة وأخوات،
هي همومنا الصغيرة التي كبرت وأحلامنا الكبيرة التي تضاءلت،

الذكرى التي تجمعنا في الماضي والأمل بلقاء في المستقبل قد لا يكون..
سورية هي

الحب القديم، هي القلب الذي خفق في صدورنا أول مرة،
هي الغيرة التي اشتعلت على فتاتنا تضحك لرفيق لتترك في النفس حرق لذيذ،
هي حلاوة اللقاء الذي كان وربما لن يتكرر،

هي الحياة التي انتزعناها من عمر مضى واحتفظنا بها مجرد ذكريات..

هي ضحك، بكاء، مئات الكلمات، أحاديث وصور تبعثرت في ذاكرتنا

يستحضرها الحنين ويحفظها الشوق ونحن نعرف بأنه لا أمل لنا في اللقاء..
سورية هي أيام عشناها

في وطن كان.. نخاف أن يضيع،

سورية هي الحبيب الذي هجرناه ولم نستطع أن نعشق سواه،
سورية هي الماضي الذي منه ولدنا

وعلينا أن نحرص لكي يكون المستقبل الذي يحيا أولادنا فيه..

سورية كلمة عندما نسمعها، تشتعل قلوبنا بالمحبة، وتدمع

عيوننا الحائرة فرحا وحزنا،
وتتلعثم ألسنتنا مثل مراهق يريد أن يبوح لفتاته

بكلمة.. "أحبك

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

Latest Job Update...

Well, the people who have been reading my blog will know the story about my job. Well, here's the latest update.. MAJOR changes has happened. I actually changed changed my job at NIS and now I'm working at a media department of a human development company called Unlimited Horizons in English, in Arabic آفاق بلا حدود. I'm seriously loving this job.... There's no training period or anything. They saw my portfolio and they wanted me instantly. They gave a whole loads of work already. I'm seriously enjoying what I'm doing. All day long I'm either in the studio working on some anasheed or prepairing audio for a TV show that'll be aired probably in next Ramadan or I'm planning with some people to work on an audio book for some Human development book. If not all that, I'll be trying to create a concept for a music video or I'm in video filming sessions and locations to get some of the action there.

Pretty much my hands are seriously full. I'm not complaining though. It brings me great joy. As I mentioned in my earlier post that if I'm productive, I'm happy. This time my productivity is on a bigger front and it's contributing in to make a difference. It's like a dream come true.

My boss, is the coolest human being ever. He's so great.... He's teaching me the secrets of the trade and believes in me and my work, like no other. I have to say, I can't ask for more. He's very welcoming. I feel at home being there. I love going to work unlike my other job. Soba7an Allah... As a kid a dreamt in doing something in what I'm doing now. Finally, it had happened and now I feel my purpose and know my role in this world. I know this sounds pointless to many people out there. I don't care. I'm happy and I want to make other people happy with my work and that is what matters to me most.

All I have to say about this, El7amdullah (Praise the lord) for everything that is happening. In my life, I had some serious ups and downs but like this, there is nothing comparable. Sob7an Allah and el7amdullah....

Saturday, December 03, 2005

Another Great Creation...

Who ever knew that they'd make candy like this. Go figure... What next? Crap looking chocolate?

Monday, November 28, 2005

The Deal with 2 Cows.

الاشتراكية: أن تكون لديك بقرتان تعطي واحدة لجارك

الشيوعية: أن تكون لديك بقرتان فتأخذ الحكومة الاثنتين وتمنحك بعض اللبن

الفاشية: أن تكون لديك بقرتان فتأخذ الحكومة الاثنتين وتبيع لك بعض اللبن

النازية: أن تكون لديك بقرتان فتأخذ الحكومة الاثنتين وتعدمك

البيروقراطية: أن تكون لديك بقرتان فتأخذ الحكومة الاثنتين وتقتل واحدة وتحلب الأخرى وتلقي باللبن بعيدًا

الرأسمالية: أن تكون لديك بقرتان فتبيع واحدة وتبتاع ثورًا، من ثم ينمو القطيع فتبيعه وتتقاعد معتمدًا على الدخل

شركة أمريكية: أن تكون لديك بقرتان فتبيع واحدة وترغم الأخرى على أن تعطيك لبن أربع بقرات.. ثم تستأجر خبيرًا استشاريًا لفهم لماذا ماتت البقرة

شركة فرنسية: لديك بقرتان فتعلن الإضراب لأنك تطالب بثلاث

شركة يابانية: لديك بقرتان. تعيد تصميمهما جينيًا بحيث تصيرا عشر حجم البقرة العادية، مع مضاعفة اللبن عشرين مرة. ثم تبتكر شخصية بقرة للرسوم المتحركة إسمها (كاوكيمون) وتسوقها في العالم كله

شركة ألمانية: لديك بقرتان. تعيد تصميمهما جينيًا بحيث تعيش الواحدة مائة عام
وتحلب نفسها وتأكل مرة كل شهر

شركة إيطالية: لديك بقرتان لكنك لا تعرف أين هما .. من ثم تكف عن البحث لأن
ساعة الغداء حانت

شركة روسية: لديك بقرتان.. تعدهما فتجد أن لديك خمس بقرات. تعد من جديد فتجد
أن العدد 42.. تعد من جديد فتجد أنهما بقرتان .. تتوقف حتى تفتح زجاجة فودكا


شركة سويسرية: لديك 5000 بقرة لا تملك واحدة منها. لكنك تتقاضى من الآخرين ثمن
الاحتفاظ بها

شركة صينية: لديك بقرتان.. ولديك 300 واحد لحلبهما. تنشر أخبارًا عن انعدام
البطالة و تقدم صناعة الألبان وتعتقل الصحفي الذي نشر الأرقام الحقيقية

An independent Movie

Here's a new movie that's coming out soon... Unlike Hollywood movies this masterpiece tackles a subject that's very daring both in the east and west. It includes Hollywood's most known actors and new faces from the Middle East. It's an independent movie that surely will reach the top in office boxes. Will it be the next Blair Witch Project? You're just going to have to wait and see.

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

Job Update...

For those who've been reading my blog for a while here is the latest update even though most of my readers already know but I thought I'd post something about it anyways...

When I arrived to Syria on Oct 11th, I'll admit I was 100% nervous about the whole move and the job that I'd be starting with New Interactive Studio. NIS is a Post Production company that deals with dubbing sound onto video or film. Meaning, they do the SFX (Sounds Effects), ambiance and sometimes music creation for TV shows, cartoons, video games, commercials etc...

So 2 days after my arrival to Syria I called them up to fix up a final meet up before I start working for them. On the 15th, I officially started training with them and I'm still training till this day. This training phase should take no more than a month. It all depends on my performance. I do have some experience with all that since sound design was part of my Audio Engineering major. Even so, I was pretty slow with the first test project they gave me. I never really worked with cartoons before. I took it as a challenge and I wanted to do a really good job. In the end after 11 hours of work I ended to up with decent according to them. So now they wanted to give me something more realistic. They are going to give me 3 mins of Abu Zaid Al Hilali episode to add some SFX. I thought that's sooooo cool. I've seen a couple episodes of it and it was pretty exciting... I believe this would be easier because I have a good idea how this needs to sound like. I'm looking forward to it...

I was suppose to work on it today but they were doing some renovation in the studio and I couldn't really do any work. I just wish they called me up. I would've continued with seriously needed sleep. Well, they told me next time I should call before I come. I thought that was pretty weird. I call in to see if I can work that day or not. I don't know what to think of that, honestly.

It's been almost a month without pay since it's only training... It's driving me up the wall. I feel stuck. I want to officially be working at least as a freelancer. The deal was this. I first train for no money for about a month then, I'll work as freelancer for a few months then if they like what I'm doing, they'll hire me and I'll get the monthly salary. Everybody ask me how is work doing and I keep telling them the same thing again and again. "I'm still training and being at the first stage is the most annoying because I don't really feel it's a real job." Sooner or later it'll happen though. I'm holding my breath.

One thing that does concern me is this... Syria is going through a rough issue with the Mehlis report and what the US is asking of her. I'm worried that things might go out of hand and the US will come and start serious trouble in Syria then I'd have to flee back to the UAE. It'll be the second time that the US's foreign policy would've seriously ruined my plans for my future. I need that job for experience because in Dubai most won't hire unless I have some sort of experience.

All I can say is this... May this land be protected and may the people in charge be wise enough to keep Syria safe. I'll admit, I do have faith that everything will be fine. Inshallah all will be...

Monday, November 07, 2005

Candle Lit Dinner...

Last night has been one amazingly beautiful night *hack hack* I hadn't slept in over 24 hours, trying to fix my sleeping schedule. Ironically, I was wide awake and VERY hungry... I decided to cook up something quick to eat and hit the sack. Sounds quite ordinary... My place is pretty warm since I have my electric heater on since my other one isn't working right. I was watching The Royal Tenenbaums on One TV. It's a pretty odd movie that I loved the first time I watch in New York with my cousin. It brought up weird but good memories.

So as I was enjoying my night alone, I decided to cook something to eat I was starved. I had some mushrooms and meat already cooked, just need to add some macaroni and I'm all set. In the middle of my cooking the worst things happened. The electricity got cut off. No, it's not because the electricity bill wasn't paid it's because it was raining all day and something went wrong. So I got out the candles and lit them all over the place.

Lucky me I heated the water before mixing it with the macaroni so the water was hot... So no big deal. It'll just take a longer time to cook. To my luck I fell asleep on the couch for 45 mins. When I woke up the electricity was still cut off and I ran to the kitchen to see the Macaroni. Let me tell you... It was the most disgusting thing ever. The macaroni were totally soggy and icky... It was like oat meal but it's macaroni. Ewww. Just remembering it makes my stomach all groggy.

I had no choice but to eat it because I was starved... So here I am having the most amazingly romantic dinner all by myself... 3 lit candles around me as it rained outside, it's freezing cold and the food was just awful.... What else can a girl ask for??? So I decided to entertain myself as I ate... I pretended that I've pain some magical food that give me power to control the world and hence it's disgusting eating it in the middle of 3 candles. Hahahaha. I was bored. No form of entertainment alone with no electricity. I know, I wacked...

Thursday, November 03, 2005

My Third Tag...

Thanks Sharks for tagging me to do this twice... I don't know why... :P

Se7en things I want/like to do:

1. Create Music
2. Sing
3. Hang out with friends
4. Make a difference
5. Make myself useful
6. Learn something new
7. Laugh till my stomach seriously hurts.

Se7en things I don't want/like to do:

1. Wake up early
2. Eat my veggies
3. Lose a friend
4. To be backstabbed
5. Be all girlie
6. Be what people expect me to be other than what I really am.
7. Be the one to bear bad news.

Se7en things I say most often (With Explanations):

1. Nice : I say this when I like what I'm hearing but just have no comment.
2. Shut up : People give me a hard time all the time and this is my reply. hehe...
3. Ya 7araaam! (You forbidden) : I say this when I don't know what to say.
4. Wleeeeee : I say this when I sence trouble lurking by.
5. Wain ya? (where you?) :I say this when I see a person leaving without saying bye.
6. Shoo ya?! (what you?) : I say this when somebody does or says something I don't like at all.
7. L3ama (get blinded) : I say this when I'm just surprised, usually in a bad way.

Hahahahaha... I couldn't think of proper translation, so I just put the direct translation. :P

Se7en people I want to pass this tag to (Ladies First):

1. Ghalia
2. Dina
3. Zena
4. Ihsan
5. Yazan
6. Hasan
7. Zaid

Sunday, October 30, 2005

Holy Month of Ramadan

The holy month of Ramadan is the ninth month of the Muslim calendar and the holiest. It is during this month that Muslims observe the Fast of Ramadan. Lasting for the entire month, Muslims fast during the daylight hours and in the evening eat small meals and visit with friends and family. It is a time of worship and contemplation. A time to strengthen family and community ties.

During the last ten days of Ramadan, Muslims seek and observe what is known as the "Night of Power," which marks the first revelation of the Qur'an Muslims worldwide spend these last ten nights of Ramadan in solid devotion, spend extra time in prayer and devotion, retreating to the mosque to stay all night(i'tikaf), reciting special supplications (du'a), and reflecting on the meaning of Allah's message to us.

To me, the last 10 days are the most beautiful 10 days of my life. Connecting with my creater and just being moved to the degree of tears is the outmost beautiful experience in my life.

Last year I've never felt closer to God as a prayed and supplicated all night long. My cousin who's like my baby sister was by my side and I couldn't ask for anything more. The prayer was well organized with the Imam and everything just went smoothly and perfectly. His beautiful voice reciting the Qur'an as we prayed just filled my heart and couldn't help but to be moved, the supplication was the most beautiful thing. It touched everything I was feeling and it was one of the most peaceful supplications. I People were nice enough and clean enough. It wasn't crowded at all. I couldn't ask for anything more.

Unlike in Abu Dhabi, here in Damascus this year, the experience was horrifying. I wasn't too sure if I was crying because of me being moved for connecting with God, or is it I was feeling sorry for myself, or for this Ummah. People were all on top of each other, nothing was organized. Women, are just horrifying throwing trash everywhere, bringing their kids around like it's some picnic with food all over the place. I couldn't concentrate on praying. My mind wandered 10 million miles away. I wanted to pray for this Ummah and for me being able to make a difference but nope, instead I ended up praying for me to be back in the UAE next year in the last 10 days in Ramadan. The supplication that the Imam was reciting somewhat threw me off. It got political and supplicating for the Imam of the mosque. I found that totally strange.

I tried to make the best out of it anywyas, I got some sort of enjoyment but mostly I was seriously disappointed. As my thanks, I usually pick up trash, cleaning the mosque as I leave. It's said that one is rewarded greatly for cleaning up the mosque. I wanted to do that because that is what I usually do... It brings joy to my heart but last night as I was doing that, women were looking at me, with the weirdest look in their faces. It's like they had no idea what I was doing and why. I was thinking, don't you people want to be rewarded or at least be clean?

I have no idea what more to say... All I can say is that, I hope it's not like that in all the mosques in Syria.

Thursday, October 20, 2005

My First Week in Syria

It's been a while since I've been updating my blog and that's because I've finally moved to Syria. Phew… I must admit this is the outmost frustrating moves of my life; it's just plainly a pain in the ass.

Everything was packed and astonishingly I didn't forget anything of much importance and my dad didn't nag as he would usually in a situation like this. So I was pretty comfortable. Even though I was 1/2 hour late to the airport everything went smoothly and got my favorite seat in economy class. I took everything that happened as a sign that everything is going to be just fine; little did I know what complications I'll face as soon as I set foot in Damascus Airport.

As soon as I set foot in Damascus, I started to get nervous about what state I'll actually find my computer and my synthesizer and how would I actually pass them through customs. Got me a cart, head to the luggage claim, and got a guy to help me out. I was exhausted, frustrated, nervous, and seriously hungry and the customs were trying to give me a serious hard time. I didn't want to yell or argue, so I decided to play another game. I played the cute, innocent girl who was clueless. After a long procedure of scaring living daylights out of me by telling me that I'll need to pay 50,000 SP ($1,000), I was ready to burst into tears. If I didn't pay right then they'll keep the synthesizer till they get paid. I wanted to call anybody to ask for the money but my credit on my credit on my phone was expired so I couldn't use it. I went out without my stuff just to inform my uncle what's holding me up. Lucky me, nobody was there. I went back in the verge of tears. I guess the guy in charge felt sorry for me so decided that I'd pay only 5,000 SP. I couldn't care less anymore. I just wanted to go home after 45 mins dealing with the customs. I paid and they gave me a receipt for future reference. YAY!!!

As I was unpacking my computer 2 days later, I heard something rattling inside the case. I figured, I'd try to turn it on anyways. What surprise! It didn't work. To my luck the cooler had fallen off taking the CPU with it since it's glued to it. The CPU was in a terrible condition. I tried adjusting the genuinely bent pins and I believe I did a good job but didn't want to risk putting it back on the motherboard by myself and break it. I seriously wanted to kill who was responsible for it, but I seriously didn't know who was.

2 friends of mine (Baher and Iyad) came to help me out. Since I couldn't let them in my place of society customs reasons, we just carried my computer to a coffee shop and took a look there. Unfortunately, the attempt of putting back the CPU back was a failure because one of the pins broke as Baher tried to put it back in. I thought that the CPU at this point is a goner and had to buy another one.

Iyad seriously put up with me for a week trying to figure out something. We ended up going to elbahsa (technology market) to see what options we have. One place actually offered to fix it. I never heard that CPUs can be fixed but it was worth a try. I'd be saving 11,000 SP if it actually did work. 2 days later Iyad and I went back with my computer to see if the CPU does work on my computer. I literately jumped up and down from the joy of knowing my computer is working fine again.

Good thing during this week of waiting, I started my job and it's pretty neat. At the moment it's just training so nothing totally exciting but just knowing the secrets of the trade makes it fun.

What a start in Syria, eh? I really with all my heart like to thank Iyad for his concern and all the help he offered. Iyad, THANK YOU!!! I don't know what I would've done without you. Probably I'd bother my cousin, instead. Hehehehe…

Thursday, October 06, 2005

Driver jailed for bestiality... Uhmmm ok?.

A report made by Nasouh Nazzal, Staff Reporter from Gulf News...

Ras Al Khaimah: A man has been sentenced to three months in jail after pleading guilty to charges of bestiality.
The camel involved in the case is to be put down in accordance with Islamic law.

A court official said the Bangladeshi, who worked as a driver, had been spotted going into his employer's barn on a regular basis.

His employer became suspicious as his duties did not involve him dealing with animals.

The official said the employer, a UAE national, followed his driver into the barn one day and saw him starting to have sex with a female camel.

The owner lost his temper and started beating him. He then took him to the police station to press charges.

The official said the driver confessed to police that he used to have sex with one particular camel.

The police arrested him and the case was referred to the Public Prosecution.

The official added the man told the prosecution that he had fallen in love with the camel and had sex with the animal.

The emirate's Criminal Court sentenced him on Wednesday to three months in jail, to be followed by deportation.

It also stated that the camel be put down as its meat would now be tainted.

The animal will be put down at the emirate's slaughterhouse, a representative from the Public Prosecution will be in attendance.


Uhmmm... now that's seriously disgusting... It reminds of this joke.

Doctor Dave had slept with one of his patients and felt guilty all day
long. No matter how much he tried to forget about it, he couldn't. The
guilt and sense of betrayal was overwhelming. But every once in while
he'd hear an internal, reassuring voice in his head that said;

"Dave don't worry about it", you aren't the first medical practitioner to
sleep with one of their patients, and you won't be the last, and you're
single,just let it go."

But invariably another voice in his head would bring him back to


"But, Dave..............

you're a vet"

Tuesday, October 04, 2005

Cats from Hell...

It doesn't matter if they are pretty or ugly, home cats or stray cats; these cats have one thing in common, they look seriously evil. Creepy... MOMMY!!!

Monday, October 03, 2005

Random Ranting...

As I sit here enjoying the music I've been creating lately, I feel such joy in my heart and soul. Is it because the music is beautiful? Well, of course, I'm going to say the music is beautiful. It's my creation. hehehe... But that's not even close to the point. Well, it's not the music pieces that are making me happy. It's the fact that I created something. One of my greatest joys in life is to be able to create. It doesn't matter what it is, whether writing a song or a poem, or composing a musical piece or even drawing some abstract art.

I'm realizing more and more, if I wasn't able to create, I'm the most depressed human being and I often do the worst things I can do for my soul. I become seriously moody, I feel worthless and my self esteem rushes down faster than you can blink. I seriously feel the weight of life is taking it's toll on me. I lose focus and purpose. With all that said, I usually burst out on innocent people who are nothing but gentle and sweet. You know who you are, Sowwy... I might still be the bouncy person as I am but deep down in me there's something missing. I can't be satisfied at all without creating anything that doesn't reflect on who I am and what I'm feeling or living at each particular moment.

For a while, I was totally being unproductive and when I did something, it wasn't done in best shape and form. I was thinking, "Well, it's good enough. Why bother?" Well, it's that kind of thinking that'll get me nowhere. Once I started putting things together really well, magic arose and my whole spirit changed. Well, I do have to admit, I had some downfalls when it came with my work. I had an opportunity to let Sami Yusuf listen to some of my music. I had some really good stuff at first. He liked them and he thought I had potential. That's when I actually cared to create something really good. When he asked for more work. I gave him what I had, and didn't really create anything new. That was a serious mistake. Simply because the music wasn't put in it best form. The recordings were great, the performance surely needed to be better. It just wasn't tight at all. I just gave in whatever I had, didn't even think about it. Then when I was told he wasn't impressed, the huge mistake that I've done seriously hit me. This is not some friend who's like your work anyways. This is a business man who wants to find some seriously good talent. I just proved to him that I wasn't. So I figured I needed to do something serious about it.

After doing some serious thinking, I needed to change my tools because the tools I had simply didn't do it for me. I did all I can do with it and needed a serious upgrade. After a lot of dreaming and working hard on begging my dad to get it for me, I finally got a Yamaha Motif ES 6, the greatest Synthesizer ever. THANK YOU, DAD... The sounds on that machine totally inspired me and what I thought it would do to me, actually did happen. It inspired me by all means. Everything I've been feeling for the past year, from pain and joy came out in 2 musical pieces I've compsed, Hope and Struggle. There are still more to come, believe me. It's not ending here. There is a lot to express and a lot more create.

The bottom line is I seriously hate myself when I'm not doing what I love doing the most. Hell, people have told me that I'm more likeable when I'm productive. I heard this from 2 people just tonight. They didn't need to say it though, I already knew. Well, I guess things will be different because my job requires me to be productive and always on go with creativity. I guess that should do wonders for me. YAY!! Can't wait till I start. Woohoo!!

If you're interested to hear my material, good and bad, just drop by my music website

Struggle is already up there... If you want to check out Hope you'll have to wait till it's verified. It should be up in 3 days time.

Saturday, October 01, 2005

Zodiac... A Syrian Rock Band.

Zodiac is a Syrian rock band founded back in 1997 by Anas Abdul Moumen, Maen Rajab and Anas Abu Kous. The band started playing popular cover songs but after their bass player Omar Harb joined in 1998, they then started to write there own material. Now they are in the process of recording there debut album with new singer Chadi Ali. The band now consists of Chadi Ali: Lead Vocalist, Hazem Al Ani: Pianist and Keyboardist, Anas Abdul Moumen: Guitarist, Maen Rajab: Guitarist, Omar Harb: Bassist, Nasser Hamdi: Drummer.

I personally have heard about Zodiac about a year ago but didn't get to see nor hear them till this summer. I have to admit, I didn't expect to be seriously impressed by their work. Their music is blend of nu metal and rock with a twist of Arabic influence. I was touched and proud to know that they are fellow Syrians. It has been 8 years since they started and they still are strong and firm and believe they can make it into the mainstream music worldwide. I believe they can because simply, they are amazing, new and something different from what's out there. I'll personally have to give a special thanks to Amr for inviting me to the show. I'll go see them again anytime.

You can download of one of Zodiac's songs "Ma Tgheebee" by Anas Abdul Moumen

Tell me what you guys think.

You can also check out their bassist, Omar Harb's website.

Friday, September 30, 2005

Are your eyes tired?

You need to click on them to actually get the ful effect. Enjoy... Don't stare too long or you'll get dizzy like I did. :D

Wednesday, September 28, 2005

I don't get it.

Here I am trying to live my life as peacefully as possible and then people want to be my hero and save me. Uhmmm. Who ever mentioned that I needed help to begin with?? I'm going through changes in my life and I'd love to just adjust to it instead of people trying to create something that doesn't even exist so I'll be comfortable. I can handle myself but for some reason some people don't believe that. They think I'm this poor little girl who always needs to run to somebody for help because I can't handle anything. I don't why people can't see that I'm strong enough. They lie to me, they keep things from me, they treat me like I'm a victim. I'm not needy... If I've ever gave the impression that I am, I guess it's all a misunderstanding of some things I'm trying to deal with on my own. If that makes any sense.

I'm not the average girl, I've dealt with a lot in my life. Yeah I'm 27 but I've experienced more than most Arab girls. I still get treated like I'm a baby. No offense to guys who have the need to be heros but, don't treat me like some poor little girl because that's one thing I'm not.

I just find it pretty interesting that other girls don't do this to me. They are just normal and don't have to prove anything to me but on the other hands, I have no idea why most guys treat me like this. Yes, I know I'm an open book but that's because I'm open, direct and I've got nothing to hide. I guess, they see this as a weakness. I feel it's great because people will truly see who am I if they actually stop searching for the meaning behind what they see. I am what you see.

I know it's a guy thing to want to be hero in general and I totally respect that but when it comes to them laying to me, keeping some truth from me and treating me like a baby, that I don't not accept what so ever. Just give it to me as it is.

My final word, ok some of the guys who might read thing might think I'm referring to them. I'm not to referring to anybody specific. I'm talking in general and that's because I've been dealing with his issue for a while now and just today, somebody from my past decided to drop me a line to be my hero again and he triggered some seriously annoying issues.

I don't mean to offend anybody and if anybody did, I'm sorry. I'm just being my honest and direct me. I'm just expressing my true self.

Saturday, September 24, 2005

My Blog....The results are in.

Now that I got the results in, I removed the poll.

Results: 47% (9 people) of people voted that this blog is user friendly
53% (10 people) of people voted that this blog isn't friendly.

Since the majority doesn't think that this blog is user friendly, I'm going to change the format to something easier. I'll now have everything all clearly put in one page. So give me sometime to get the new design in and actually put it up. I wanted my blog to be more active, especially my chatbox that the majority is neglecting. :(

Thanks to all those who voted and special thanks to those who actually gave me feedback...

Give me some energy, baby!!!

Printed from

Raise Your Energy Level
Adapted from Creative Visualization, by Ronald Shone (Inner Traditions, 1998).

Simple Solution
If you need more energy, or you are mildly depressed, this creative visualization will help: the author says he has found it to be most effective.

Work during the day can certainly deplete our energy. Some days seem more draining than others, and some begin with a low stock of energy because of a poor night’s sleep. One reason that we rest and sleep is so that we can restore the body’s energy. This visualization will also achieve a natural raising of your body’s energy level. Find out how:

While in a relaxed state, you imagine yourself lying on a bed with your eyes closed. A beam of sunlight comes down from the sun and envelops your whole body. You then rise up and pass along the beam of sunlight into the heart of the sun. (At this stage, imagine yourself naked.) When you reach the heart of the sun, you open up your arms and legs to make an X shape; this includes opening up your hands and fingers. You then simply imagine that you are absorbing into your body health-giving energy. Really feel the energy going into your body. (Your body may very well tingle during this creative visualization.) If you like, you can at this point add a series of suggestions. They can go something like this:

I can feel the energy from the sun passing into my body. Yes, my body is drawing energy from the sun--energy that my body needs, energy that will revitalize all my body, energy that will pass into every cell and every organ of my body. (Keep this up until you feel that your body has sufficient energy--a feeling that is not too difficult to recognize.)

When you feel fully energized, bring your arms and legs together, pass back down the sunbeam, and return to your lying position on the bed.

Shop for Supplies
Creative Visualization

Copyright: Adapted from Creative Visualization, by Ronald Shone (Inner Traditions, 1998). Copyright (c) 1998 by Ronald Shone. Reprinted by permission of Inner Traditions.

Monday, September 05, 2005

My desire... at this moment.

When I was in Malaysia, I came across the most beautiful man made creation I've ever known. The sounds are realistic enough to leave you in awe. I was seriously having a ball with this baby. It's so simple and fun to use. I've been craving to get this synthesizer for the longest time and my dream might actually come true at the end of this month. I'm sure then I can go back on creating music but this time it'll be a lot more professional. Maybe then I'd be able to sell some records. Hehehe...
Not only do the new MOTIF ES Music Production Synthesizers feature the largest wave ROM of any workstation keyboard available (175 MB in 16-bit linear format), but that Extensive Sonic library is at the heart of the most expressive, most musical synthesis system on the planet, bar none. The Enhanced Sound set of the ES 1,859 waveforms – the majority of them newly sampled specifically for the MOTIF ES series – provide the foundation for 1,024 outstanding normal voices plus 65 drum kits. There are even Mix Voices so you can edit and create your own Voices will listening to your songs and store them right along with the song data. The MOTIF ES delivers an extraordinary sonic depth and musical response. The range of sounds it produces is stunning — from the Emulative Sounds of acoustic piano and orchestra to the Extreme Synthesis of cutting-edge hiphop and electronica. You only have to hear the ES once to know this is the best sounding, most Evolved Synthesizer Yamaha has ever made.

The newly designed tone generator chip offers true 128-note polyphony that gives you the freedom to create intricate compositions using the full gamut of the MOTIF ES Exceptional Sonic power. These instruments are designed for serious music production. The newly developed synth engine offers new synthesizer parameters and faster, more precise envelope control.

If you want to check out the sounds of this beauty just click here. Then click on media files and just enjoy listening.

What next?!?!

Well, it's been almost a year since I've graduated college in Malaysia and believe it or not, I still don't have my diploma. The campus in Malaysia finally got it from Australia 4 months after I graduated in Oct. 2004. Since in the Arab world they love to make it a living hell for it's people, I needed to certify my diploma along with my transcripts at the Ministry of Education and the Ministry of foreign Affairs in Malaysia before sending them over to be certified again by the Ministry of Education in the UAE. The procedure at the ministry in the UAE alone takes about 3 months.

My college in Malaysia are taking care of getting my papers certified. The first email I got from them was April 13th 2005 telling me that they're taking care of it all. The guy in charge kept sending me emails later to keep me posted. I thought all was going fine until what I feared the most and was certainly expecting from Malaysian officials actually did happen. I got this beautiful reassuring email from my college today:

"Dear Sara,I am sorry to say that I have some bad news. The ministry of education here has informed me that they have lost/misplaced your documents that I sent for certification. I made some noise at their office and was able to meet their head who reaffirmed me that your case will be looked into immediately. The officer in charge has apologized and has said that she will try to expidite the matter ASAP. I will be meeting her later this week and once I have more information, I will let you know.



That's is one of the reasons why I hated living in Malaysia... Nothing gets done unless you scream and get some people in trouble. I had to put up with it at school, with cab drivers and even doctor's offices etc... The crappy thing is that I can't get a proper job in the UAE until I get all my papers certified. ARGGGGGGGGGGGGH!!

So what do you think? Is it better here in Syria or there in Malaysia. I see it that it's all the same. It's been 11 months and it's not even close for me to get my certified proof of education. I can't believe that stupid piece of paper can be that essential in getting job. I'm beyond pissed off and I just feel like going down to Malaysia and kick some ass.

Friday, August 26, 2005

My second tag...

Thank you Zena for the tag. :P here we go. It gives me something to post. hahaha..

10 years ago: I was about 17. It was my senior year of high school. I have to admit it was one of the weirdest years of my life. First of all, I changed high schools so new faces where all around, a whole new different system. I was pretty much goodie goodie 2 shoes, I didn't know what I wanted from life I tried to find where I belonged but I didn't feel I fitted anywhere. I didn't know who I really was. The biggest deal was my high school graduation and the song that wrote and performed in the graduation ceremony. Pretty much I didn't have a life at all.

5 years ago: I was around 22. I was in college in the US. My life revolved around the college radio station. I was the music director. The radio station pretty much took much of my time. Most of the other members where life family. They were all crazy people and that's what I loved about it. That period of my life, I was still searching for who I am. I was in my rocker phase. My hair was orange and red and brown. Wore the rockers clothes. I pretty much lived the rock and roll life style.

1 year ago: I was a quarter of a century and an extra year. :D Hmmm. I recently graduated from college in Malaysia. Did some traveling to Syria after going back to the UAE. Some seriously life changing events took place in my life. My heart for the first time fell in love with the most loving man on earth. Things didn't work out and I was crushed and I changed dramatically since then. Became more religious just stopped taking crap from people.

Tomorrow: The first thing that comes to mind is same old shit different day. Hahaha... I try to live the moment for the most part. So I try not to think about it. But as Incubus say, "whatever tomorrow brings, I'll be there."

5 Snacks I enjoy: Chocolate, cheese, chips, frozen yogurt and biscuits

5 bands & artists I like: Incubus, Julia Butrous, Sting, Train and The Beatles.

5 Things I'd do with $100.000.000: Invest some of it to get more money :P, give some to some charity, save some for rainy day, give some to my parents. Spend the rest for fun.

5 Places I would run away to: Boston- USA,Byron Bay- Australia, Switzerland, Malaysia and England.

5 Bad habits I have: I'm totally messy, I cry all the time, I pick my nose in public hahaha, I tend to be lazy sometimes, I nag a lot.

5 things I like doing: Listening to music, sing, read, be productive in anything creative, being a friend.

5 things I will never wear: Uhmm. I pretty much worse everything in my life time, but probably multicolored clothes that don't actually fit together and seriously tight ass clothes or anything trashy.

5 TV Shows I like: Friends, 2 guys and a girl, Life Makers (sona3 el7ya, Amr Khaled), Yallah Shabab, Touched by an Angel

5 People I'd like to meet: Amr Khaled, Mesut Kurits, Julia Butrous, my friend Israa in Egypt and my friend Hajar in England

5 Movies I like: Lord of the Rings, Dead Poets Society, Good Will Hunting, Spirited Away and The Message.

5 biggest joys at the moment: My connection with my creator, my loved ones (true friends and family), my cat, my loving parents and my health.

I now tag Nuralhuda , Juwaireyah and Hasan... You got to love me for it. :P

Wednesday, August 24, 2005

Weeping Willow

I first came across this tree in Boston. I instantly fell in love with it. I got to see one today and I just remembered how beautiful this tree is. I thought I'd share some info about my favorite tree.
The weeping willow is an original native to China. It was long ago introduced into Europe and the Middle East and later on into the USA. These trees were once thought to be the biblical willows of Babylon, hence the scientific name Salix babylonica. The Weeping Willow is a fast growing and majestic tree. Growth can be six to eight feet or more a year. As the tree gets larger, the long thin branches hang down, creating a flowing umbrella of shade. It is widely grown where the soil is moist. This tree has to have plenty of water. You will usually find this tree where there is a good water supply. If the water supply is scarce, the roots of this tree will stretch as long as they have to to find it. It has been noted that the roots of weeping willows, grown in the front yards of homes, have wrapped themselves around the house's water pipes and burst them for water. So, it is best to keep weeping willows away from sewer lines or other underground piping. You will find this tree in cities, as well, for it is tolerant of smoke and grime. The weeping willow is actually wild in some areas now. Like other willows it can grow from stem cuttings. One characteristic of this tree are the long, limp, pendant twigs. Another is the narrow, lance shaped leaves that are two to seven inches long. The minute seeds are covered with white hairs. The bark is grayish brown and fissured. The weeping willow is a beautiful tree that will look that way anywhere it is grown.

Salix 'Babylonica' This beautiful weeping willow (the best of the green weeping willows) is a hardy deciduous tree. It forms a gracefully rounded crown to about 50 feet in height with a spread just as wide. It's bark is dark gray and deeply furrowed. Branches divide into many thin stems that hang in pendulous curtains to the ground. This willow is very adaptable and will thrive in most soil type.

Habitat: Prefers very moist soils. Often seen growing as an ornamental tree around margins of ponds, lakes, and streams.

Characteristics: Weeping willow attains a height of 30-60 feet; the trunk having a diameter of 1-3 feet. May be larger. The leaves of this species are very long (1-5 feet), with greenish-yellow twigs.

Sunday, August 21, 2005

Mars is comming SOON

I got this email and I thought I'd share it with you guys who is interested. I know I am. :D I don't know how true it is but it'll be fun to check it out .

Planet Mars will be brightest in the night sky starting August. It will look as large as the full moon to the naked eye. This will culminate on August 27 when Mars comes to within 35 million miles of earth. Be sure to watch the sky on August 27 12:30am [acc. to IST]. It will look like the Earth has two moons. The next time Mars will be this close is in 2287.

Monday, August 15, 2005

Life goes on...

With my ups and downs lately, yesterday has been pretty much a good day. I talked to a really good friend of mine and as usual I benefited from his words of wisdom. He's is a true gem in my humble opinion. Other than that, I met up with other friends later that night and discussed a few things about this trip we're going on this Friday. I'm totally looking forward to this trip

I got home about 11:00 last night and nobody was home. I called my best friend in this world back in the UAE. As I was talking to her my mom arrived home telling me to get off the phone quick because she wanted to call my brother in the US. That wasn't the usual thing for to do from Syria. Then she told me that my sister in law is pregnant. I was like OH MY GOD!!!! I'm going to be an aunt in March next year, inshallah. I can't believe that my parents are finally going to be come grandparents. WOOHOO!! We're getting older, man. Hmmm, I don't like that part. Hehehehe... So I'm happy and I thank God that I am... Inshallah, I'll be able to spread this happiness to everybody around me. :D

May All you of you be happy. :P Congratulate me now. yallah. Hehehehe... I'm soooooo happy!!! My brother is going to be a father. YAY!!!

Saturday, August 06, 2005

Worse places to be bitten...

About 2 night ago mosquitoes decided to use my arm to feast on. It was their dinner party. I have no idea how many mosquitoes were there but I got bitten from hand to my upper arm over 20 bites in one night. It's horrible but at least I didn't get bitten in the most annoying places to be bitten...

1) My Palms (It hurts too much to scratch)
2) Between my fingers (It's so hard to reach)
3) Right around my nails. (It also hurts and you still get it right)
4) My back (It's so damn hard to reach)
5) My ass (It's embarrassing to scratch that in front of people)
6) The soles of my feet. (Oh my God it hurt like a MoFo even when you walk on it.)

These are my worst places to be bitten. What about you??

Thursday, July 28, 2005

Shanti got laid finally.

In one of my older posts I mentioned something about cat prostitution. Well, my dad took part in that and actually hired a cat gigalo for my baby when she was one heat a couple of weeks ago. This is what my dad had to say in his email about the experience.

"After I talked with you, mom saw the cat screeming and restless then decided to accept having the male brought over.
Unfortunately I dont have a camera, to record the wedding ( lol) your cat was stronger than I thought, she is not allowing him to eaven approach her, we locked them up in the interance, with gusts bathroom, and put some foof and water and a littre box. he ate and drank but didnt allow her to drink, shes bakh bakh and he so far he is unable to do anything to her.
it was such an experience for me and ur mom. wish we had the Camera, Naseem
will bring his Camera tomorow, hope we can take some souvenir shots ( lol)"

and then he wrote in another email

"Shanti is unbelivably strong , you remember how was that Tomcat strong?she beat him hard and hurt him, but he was aggresive and brave he fought so hard and never gave up. The pets shop man told me this a super tom cat thatcan mate any female in less than a day, any how your mom said it is too muchto keep 2 cats in the house, they mated at least 5 times, and we had vediofilms im sending with ur mom. here is some pictures extracted from thevedio, I used Sara's Camera, though its not a very good quality the male stayed in our house all weekend, and i was afraid to keep him longer he started to have darreah , and I was not sure he dosnt have bugs or flees on him."

Here are some of the pics that were taken (The quality isn't great because they were taken from a video my dad recorded. Yes, he actually video taped it and I have the full length feature with the SFX and music. I haven't seen it yet. Please do enjoy the Feline Porn. :P

As Shanti sits in the bathroom, the cat gigalo stands there trying to figure out how can he woo her. She looks totally not interested.

Things get a little heated and Shanti is totally fighting off the gigalo. And so the battle begins.

After a heated battle obviously the gigalo got his way with Shanti. She looks satisfied. Well, we have been told that the gigalo actually got 12 cats pregnant. So he's experienced and knows what he's doing. Kudos to the feline gigalo.

According to my dad, Shanti, might be pregnant and I'm sincerely looking forward to that. If she is, she'll probably give birth around the time I'll be back in the UAE. Awww, I'm going to be a grandmother once again. hehehe...

My first Tag, (Oh JOY!!)

I got tagged by Omar with this *sigh*. I should've kept my mouth shut. Here goes anyways.

1- What does Love mean to you?
Hmmm, it depends on what kind of love but I'll generalize it and say, that love means a lot to me. It brings peace to my mind and soul.

2- What does Marriage mean to you?
The most sincerest commitment with your soul mate. ( I know. I'm way too romantic as some people say.)

3- Do you believe in love at first sight?
I don't believe in that. I think it's a stupid concept. Attraction at first sight, that's a totally different story.

4- How many children would you like?
I used to want 5 but after staying with my uncle's wife and her 5 kids for a few weeks I seriously changed my mind. I think 3 would be more than enough. With 5 I think I'll go kookoo.

5-If given the opportunity, what song would you sing for me on my wedding day?
By your Side: Sade ( I believe this is one of the most beautiful songs written and perfect for a wedding.

6- What is your favorite holiday destination?
Hmmmm, I'd say either the mountains of Switzerland or the Islands in South East Asia, specifically Langkawi, Malaysia since I know the place pretty well. :D

7-What are three qualities you would look for in a man?
1, Sincerity (how typical)
2, Great self education
3, Passionate ambition

8- What are the three qualities and three bad habits that your think your wife should/shouldn't have?
Uhmmm... I'm not really looking for a wife at the moment. Once I do, I'll let you guys know.

9-Where do you see yourself in 10 years?
Probably, in some production company doing some music and audio work unless I become a mommy then I'd be a home maker as I work from home with my music.

I tag Mira.. You're next sweetness. :P

Tuesday, July 26, 2005

Marty Tankleff's Story in Brief

A while ago, I got to see Marty's story on "48 Hours Mysteries" on MBC 4 I was seriously touched by it. I felt so bad that I cried. I've always been active in activism for justice. I've volunteered to do work in Palestinian refugee camps and I've took stand in demos in the US and so on. I decided to take a more personal favor to somebody... This is his story. I hope you can help me spread his story around and maybe spread the love around. I've already contacted Marty. He's a real nice guy and hopefully I was able to help him in one way or anything.

On the morning of September 7th, 1988, Marty Tankleff woke up in his family's large waterfront home on Long Island, New York, to what should have been the first day of his senior year in high school. Instead he discovered his parents brutally stabbed and bludgeoned, his mother--Arlene Tankleff--dead, his father--Seymour Tankleff--unconscious but alive. Marty called 911 and, following the operator's instructions, gave first-aid to his father.

When the police came, Marty immediately told them who the likely suspect was: Jerry Steuerman, his father's business partner in a chain of bagel stores, who owed his father over half a million dollars, had threatened his parents earlier in the summer, and was the last guest to leave a poker game in the Tankleff home the night before. A week after the attacks, as Marty's father lay unconscious in the hospital, Steuerman faked his own death, changed his appearance, took on an alias and fled to California. Yet, to this day, he has never been considered a suspect by Suffolk County authorities.

[Jerry Steuerman]

Despite Steuerman's motive and opportunity, and the fact that not one shred of physical evidence linked Marty to the crime, Detective James McCready took the traumatized teenager to the police station and began a hostile interrogation of Marty that lasted for hours. It was no match. Marty had been brought up to trust the police and the word of his father, so when Detective McCready faked a phone call and lied that Marty's father had come to and identified Marty as the killer, Marty was led to wonder if he could have blacked out. Then McCready finally read Marty his rights and started drafting a "confession," which was interrupted by the Tankleff's family lawyer as soon as he discovered Marty was in custody and being interrogated. The "confession" was unsigned and immediately recanted by Marty.

[Detective James McCready]

At the time of the murders and Marty's "confession," the Suffolk County police department and district attorney's office were growing notorious for their extraordinarily high confession rate compared to other counties. From Newsday reports in the mid-80's--including a multi-part series titled "The Confession Takers" and headlines like "Three Murders, One Confession"--the impression one got was that taking confessions took up most of their knowledge base, with the forensic lab in disrepair, and so forth. It got so bad that a Suffolk County judge named Stuart Namm--subsequently nicknamed "The Serpico of Judges"--got Governor Mario Cuomo to order the State Investigation Commission to hold hearings on the police department and DA's office. The Commission's Report painted a scathing portrait of corruption and wrongdoing. Among its findings was that Detective McCready, who wrote Marty's "confession," had perjured himself in a previous murder case.
In 1990, long before DNA testing would suggest that some 25% of wrongful convictions are based on false or coerced confessions, Marty's "confession" was enough for the jury to convict him. Marty was sentenced to 50 years to life and will not be eligible for parole until 2040, when he'll be 69 years old.
To this day, two dozen of Marty's relatives, including the sisters and brother of the victims, have proclaimed Marty's innocence, with one exception: Marty's half-sister Shari, who supported Marty at first but later stated she believed he was guilty. According to the will, Marty would have inherited the bulk of the multimillion dollar estate, but Shari ended up receiving about one-third, more than the stipend she would have received from the trust. (Marty received one-third, which was spent on legal fees, and one-third went to a trust at Hofstra University.)

New Evidence

From the day he went into prison, Marty began doing everything to prove his innocence and reclaim his freedom. On homemade stationery quoting Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. ("Injustice found anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere") he wrote thousands of letters to anyone and everyone who could possibly help him.

[Marty Tankleff, 2004]

In 2001, Marty convinced Jay Salpeter, a former New York City homicide detective and now a private investigator on Long Island, to join his team.
As the investigator looked into the case, everything led back to Seymour Tankleff's business partner. It turns out that more than bagels were being sold out of the bagel stores. The business partner's son--Todd Steuerman--sold cocaine out of the stores, and his enforcer/collector was a guy named Joey "Guns" Creedon. Over the years, Creedon has bragged to many people about being involved in the Tankleff murders.

[Joey "Guns" Creedon]

The investigator looked through Creedon's arrest records, and learned that he had once been caught trying to burglarize one of the bagel stores. Creedon's accomplice was a man named Glenn Harris. Salpeter tracked down Harris, who was in jail on another matter, and got the sense that Harris wanted to get something off his chest.

Harris told the investigator that on September 7, 1988, he was the getaway driver for what he thought at the time was a burglary of a home on Long Island. He said he drove Creedon and another man to the home and watched them go around to the back of the house as he waited in the car. Twenty or so minutes later, they "came running to the car" and were "nervous" and "winded" and told Harris to get them out of there. Later Harris saw one of them burning his clothes. When he heard the radio reports about the crime, Harris knew that something more than a burglary had taken place.

Based on this new evidence, Marty's lawyers filed a motion for a new trial and a Suffolk County judge ordered an evidentiary hearing, which lasted seven months, ending in March, 2005. Based on extensive coverage in the New York Times, Newsday and on "48 Hours," several new witnesses have come forward corroborating the getaway driver's version of events. Among the new evidence revealed at the hearing was eyewitness testimony that Detective McCready, contrary to his sworn testimony at the original trial, and Jerry Steuerman were acquaintances prior to the Tankleff murders.

But the district attorney's office has used every tactic at its disposal, including witness intimidation, to discredit the new evidence and protect the conviction. Many of the powers that be are holdovers from that Suffolk County law enforcement era of the 80's that Marty dealt with the first time around. The judge who presided over the original trial and sentenced Marty is now the Suffolk County Sheriff. The assistant district attorney who prosecuted him is now head of the homicide division.

And Thomas Spota is now the Suffolk County district attorney. Back in the 80's, when the State Commission was investigating Suffolk law enforcement, Spota represented the police and detectives, including Detective McCready, who was found to have perjured himself in a previous murder trial. Later, in the early 90's, Spota successfully defended McCready on charges of viciously beating a man outside a bar.

[Detective McCready and his lawyer Thomas Spota following McCready's acquital on assault charges.]

And that's not all. Spota's law partner (it's not clearly documented whether they were current or former partners, or whether they were sharing office space at the time) had represented Seymour Tankleff's business partner, Jerry Steuerman, in the late 80's, and Spota's firm had represented Jerry Steuerman's son Todd in the early 80's for selling cocaine out of his father's bagel store, to which he pled guilty. And, while we're at it, another of Spota's partners in his small firm was the first ADA on the Tankleff case. Despite these conflicts, Spota has refused to recuse himself, and Suffolk County Judge Stephen Braslow has ruled against the defense's motion for a special prosecutor.

Closing arguments are now being submitted in written briefs, and Judge Braslow is expected to rule this summer on whether a jury, having heard all of the new evidence, would likely reach a different verdict than at the original trial.

There are three possible outcomes of the ruling: 1) Marty's conviction would be vacated and he would be set free, 2) Marty would be granted a new trial or 3) Marty's motion would be denied and he would be shipped back upstate to the Great Meadow maximum security prison in Comstock, New York.

Marty's family and supporters are both optimistic, because of the abundance of new evidence, and pessimistic, because they've been disappointed so many times over the past 17 years. "After all," they say, "it's Suffolk County."

For more information:

What is the weight about??

My weight has been an on going struggle for as long as I can remember. I'd lose it all, and then I'd gain it all back again because of the hideous lifestyle change. Lack of stability has been getting to me for the longest time and now, it's killing me. Anyways, back with my weight issue. Even though I gained 20 kilos in the past couple of years, I've lost something on the lines of 5 kilos ever since I came to Syria. I find that quite good since I'm on a diet and I've been seriously walking all over the place.

With that said, done and still on the go people are still giving me a hard time. I have no idea why? ok, yes, I do agree I need to lose the weight hence I'm on the stupid diet and trying to walk as much as possible. People don’t see that and don't want to freakin hear about it. They see me and they're like "ohhhhh you've gained weight" "Ohhh it's not good for your health." "Ohhhh your size is large now" "Oooooh, you need to lose weight" "Ohhh, you're ass is huge now" etc etc etc... I heard it all. It's driving me crazy. I try to tell, them," People, I know and I'm doing something about it. I've already lost weight and I'm still on the go of losing some more." I have no idea what exactly do they hear when I say that. It's like instead, they hear that I'm gorge a Black Forest with one hand and a hamburger with another hand as I drink a chocolate milkshake in front of me, 6 meals a day, every day... Then they'd say, "no but you need to lose weight." HELLO DAMN IT!!!!! DID YOU HEAR WHAT THE HELL I JUST SAID?!?!?!?!

There's that, then there are people who try to say that I know jack crap and they know it all. They tell me that my way will end up as failure and I need to become a marathon runner in order to lose the weight because it worked for them. What part that I already lost 5 kilos and I'm still losing weight, they didn't get? What part of that I know how my body works and that once upon a time, I made myself lose 20 kilos in a couple of years on my own??? Why do people need to butt in other people's business that they have nothing to do with?

I've heard it all and I'm working on it and I'm losing the freakin weight, just leave me the hell ALONE!!!! Even for people who are aren't saying anything about my weight directly they have to say something about my diet. "Who on earth diets in summer when all the fun and joy happens???" I’m thinking, why should food be a joyful activity? Food is there as a necessity not to have fun with it. It's like I'm not allowed to live a healthy life style and still I'll never hear the end of it when I don't. What the hell do I need to do to keep these people away? Isolate myself? It's so hard to ignore because people throw comments left and right without thinking. I just wish I can be selectively deaf.

Another thing that seriously gets to me as well is my uncle's wife. She keeps telling me, you are beautiful but you need to lose weight because the mothers won't look at you. I'm like why do mothers need to look at me anyways. Well, that's a whole different story. I'll post on another post later on. I refuse to use that as an inspiration to lose weight. I want to lose the weight for me, to feel healthier, to feel good about the way I look, to feel good at the accomplishment I've done.

Now, I've taken a new step in losing weight. I've gone to a nutritionist because I'd like to lose more weight in healthy way without killing myself and to keep me grounded and not ahead of myself. I'm determined to lose the 25 kilos the proper way for the proper reasons. So wish me luck...

What kind of a blogger am I??

Well, my friend Firas actually told me about this test and I thought it's quite interesting... I'm not too sure if everybody will agree with the results but I sure do like it. Hehehehe...

You Are a Snarky Blogger!

You've got a razor sharp wit that bloggers are secretly scared of.
And that's why they read your posts as often as they can!

It's been a serious long while....

If anybody was wondering where have I been, and why I'm not blogging it's because I really haven't been getting a chance to actually sit with my material and post them since I don't even go regularly to the internet cafe to use the internet.

Soon though I'll put the post that I've been wanting to post but for now, I'll just put the ones without the pics... I hope somebody actually enjoy my silly posts. :D


Thursday, July 07, 2005

The English I speak.

Inspired by highlander I find it quite interesting. I never really knew what kind of English do I speak but here it is. :D

Your Linguistic Profile:

60% General American English

25% Yankee

10% Dixie

5% Upper Midwestern

0% Midwestern

What is it all about?

One of the most dreadful days to me and million of others is September 11th. My life dramatically changed since then. At first the change was so hard but once I got used to it, I realized who are my true friends and I opened up more to people and it was a lot easier. Then the change became the best thing that ever happened to me. When I grasped the new me and was enjoying it Sept. 11th came again to haunt me and change my life all over again. I was denied to go back to the US back in June of 2002 and my life was wrecked and still am trying to put it back on track.

The other day, I came across this interesting flash. I'm not too sure how to feel about it. It disgusts me because lives were wrecked for something I totally believe is a lie. So these people can gain more power, money and other benefits. Some might think it's a conspiracy theory but honestly, I do believe NOTHING in politics seems the way it is. It's all bullcrap. This world is filled corruption and nothing is simple and pure anymore. Nothing is ideal, all the Arab governments is filled with crap and are just kissing the enemies' asses so the people on top won't lose their power. They abide with corruption and the people end up fleeing to other countries where they either lose themselves or the sense of passion to their own land. Who are the victims? Us, people who are trying to live our lives and survive.

Anyways, here's the flash, hope you enjoy...

Thursday, June 30, 2005

The Meet Up

YAY!!! Finally!! Hehehe.. The meet up was great. I met up with Baher at Hamra St. then we headed to Old Damascus. We got lost because people are hopeless at giving directions. It doesn't help that me and Baher seriously suck at directions anywyas so it took us 45 mins to find the place. Hahaha... Nontheless we found Khawali. It's a great place and the company was even better. I finally met the beloved leader Ayman. Hahahaha. I still can't get over how much he reminds me of my brother. I don't know what is it.

You know what's killing me? Amr still looks sooooooooo familiar to me. I'm trying to figure out who does he look like but it's useless. Everytime, it comes to me, it disappears. Hahaha... Anyways, I have to admit the people I met are seriously pleasant and fun...

The atmosphere was great, I was telling Baher how I'd love to make a weekly meeting instead. Hahahaha... Yallah, I should be around for the next coupld of meetings (July and August) Hmmm.. I wonder how it'll all be once Ayman leaves to the US. It'll be sad. :(

I just want to thank ALL of you guys, (Ayman, Baher, Sinan, Ammar, Amr, Majd, Annie, Yazan and Dina) for a great time. You guys rock...

Hey Yazan and Amr, so, how did you friends take the pic of incubus's guitar pick?? Hehehehe... I should be make them and sell them. Hahahaha...

What's that about?

I find this quite interesting. I have no idea why a car from Massachusetts, USA would be roaming the streets of Damascus, Syria. Does anybody have an idea? I sure don't.

Saturday, June 25, 2005


Finally, I'm here in my home Damascus. It has been less than a week and I already have a sunburned nose. Hehehe... I LOVE this place. It's the most spiritual place I've ever known.

So the hard part was being at my grandfather's house with my grandfather being there, at least that is what I thought at first. My uncle and me, stayed there cleaning the place up for the first few days. All I did was the dishes because my uncle has a thing for fixing the whole place by himself without any help. So I just did my share and hanged out with other relatives and friends.

My grandmother is finally back to Damascus as well. I thank God that it's not as hard as I thought. I didn't feel the major emptiness at the place since my grandfather isn't around. It got a little awkward though when my cousins came and we all sat and started talking about how he died and where was he sitting when he died. At the same time, I got some peace from it because ever since he died, I never really talked about it. So it was my first time since last year.

Well, the meet up is in 4 days and I'm seriously excited. I already met some of the bloggers and they are all wonderful. Can't wait till I meet the rest of the crew.

Well, I guess this is it, for me... I'll probably have some weird thoughts and I'll add them...

Thursday, June 16, 2005

What's up?

Well, it's been a while since I actually posted something original from me. I haven't been doing that good lately... Just have too much on my mind really. Anyways, I think I'll just say that I'd be taking some time off from blogging. I just need some time to sort things out.

For those who don't already know, I'm leaving to Syria this Sunday. YAY!!! I'm going to my beloved homeland. I'll be seeing my aunt and cousins that I haven't seen for about 3 years and my cousin's baby for the first time. I'll be seeing a good friend of mine that I haven't seen for over 7 years. Of course then meet the Syrian bloggers.

With all these excitement, I'm seriously nervous. Things aren't exactly great for my relatives in Syria. Each and everyone has some serious health issue in the family and death might be near. Speaking of which, I'll be staying at my grandfather's place for the first month I'm in Syria. That also makes me nervous because last August my grandfather passed away when I was in Malaysia. I haven't seen him for 2 years before that. When I last saw him, I knew that it'll be the last time I'd see him. I remember our farewell, it was very emotional we both cried as he was holding me tight. Just thinking about it me makes me cry. Anyways, so this is going to be the first time I'll be there since he passed away so I'm seriously nervous about it.

Well, that's it for me... See you guys soon.

Sunday, June 12, 2005

Hijab: Religious Symbol or Obligation?

This is to reply to what Front Bumper' said about one of my posts about the Hijab ban in France. U can check his post on his blog, My Stupid Corner

As I commented onn his blog, I didn't feel it's enough so I got more information about hijab ban in France from a reliable website...

Here's a person asking about the issue in France and this is what a group of Muftis had to say:

Dear scholars, As-salamu `alaykum. The issue of hijab in France has reached a very serious stage. Could you please clarify whether hijab is a religious symbol or not?

Wa `alaykum As-Salamu wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.

In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.

All praise and thanks are due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon His Messenger.

It is completely rejected to say that hijab is a religious symbol because hijab has an indispensable function in the life of a Muslim woman. That function is protection of the Muslim woman and preservation of her honor and chastity. This means that a woman who wears hijab does not do this to declare her religion or distinguish herself. Rather, she wears it out of obedience to her Lord.

On the other hand, preventing hijab on the basis of preserving the secularity of the state is an illogical claim because secularism in a liberal community means that the state authority should be neutral in matters of religion. The government should neither accept nor reject, neither be for or against any religion. The state is to provide freedom of religion for all people.

One might further ask: If a non-Muslim woman chooses to dress modestly by covering her body and even her hair, would she be prevented from doing so by this ban? And if she is given the freedom to cover herself because she is not Muslim, why then is a Muslim woman not given the same freedom?

In this concern, the eminent Muslim scholar, Dr. `Ali Jum`ah, Mufti of Egypt, states:

"A Muslim woman is obliged to wear hijab as soon as she reaches puberty, as indicated in the Qur'an, the Sunnah of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) and the consensus of Muslim scholars from early ages of Islam up till now. Hijab is known to be essential and necessary in religion; it is not merely a symbol that distinguishes Muslims from non-Muslims. It is an obligation that forms part and parcel of the Islamic religion.

Allah Almighty says: "O Prophet! Tell thy wives and thy daughters and the women of the believers to draw their cloaks close round them (when they go abroad). That will be better, so that they may be recognized and not annoyed. Allah is ever Forgiving, Merciful." (Al-Ahzab: 59)

He also says: "And tell the believing women to lower their gaze and be modest, and to display of their adornment only that which is apparent, and to draw their veils over their bosoms." (An-Nur: 31)

Also, the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said to Asma', daughter of Abu Bakr (may Allah be pleased with them): "O Asma'! Once a girl reaches puberty, nothing of her body may be seen (by non-mahrams) except this and these, (he pointed to his face and hands while saying so).""

Sheikh Muhammad Husain Fadl Allah, a well-known Shiite jurist of Lebanon, also comments:

"Wearing hijab derives from religious commitment; it is in the same status of religious obligations in the way that incompliance with it constitutes a sin. Has secularism become so weak that the secular authorities fear a scarf, a turban, or a cross hanging from the neck to threaten its stability?"

Moreover, the eminent Muslim scholar, Sheikh Yusuf Al-Qaradawi, states:

"I completely reject and condemn the French resolution that prevents the Muslim female students from wearing hijab at school. By doing so, they force Muslim women to ignore the teachings of their religion and disobey Allah's commands, which say: "…and to draw their veils over their bosoms", and: "O Prophet! Tell thy wives and thy daughters and the women of the believers to draw their cloaks close round them (when they go abroad)."

Actually, all Muslims with their various affiliations and inclinations agree upon the obligation of hijab. Hence, we have been struck by the hijab ban, which is a persecution against the Islamic teachings and values, especially which it is made by France, the land of liberality and openness, the home of the French Revolution that called for freedom and equality. Moreover, France has the largest Muslim community in Europe.

Therefore, such resolution contradicts two human rights: individual freedom and religious freedom, which are asserted by all constitutions and charters of human rights all over the world.

On the other hand, banning hijab on the basis of preserving secularity of the state is an illogical claim, because secularism in a liberal community means that the state authority should be neutral in matters of religion. The government should neither accept nor reject, neither be with or against any religion. The state is to provide freedom of religion for all people. Conversely, Marxist secularism is hostile against religion in general; it considers religion to be like addiction that hinders peoples' development. Marxism denies the existence of God and denies the existence of man's soul as well.

Claiming that hijab is a sign of religion is by no means acceptable, because a religious sign or symbol has no function but to declare the religious beliefs of the one who wears it, such as the cross for a Christian and the kippa for a Jew. They both have no function but to declare the religious beliefs of those who wear them. Hijab, on the other hand, has a religious function, namely, to protect Muslim women and preserve their chastity. It could not strike the mind of hijab-clad women to wear it for declaring their religious beliefs. Rather, they wear it in obedience to Allah's commands.

Therefore, the hijab ban contradicts the principles of freedom and equality that have been asserted by the French Revolution and stipulated in all heavenly revealed religions and international charters of human rights. In fact, the hijab ban is a form of persecution against the committed Muslim women; it infringes upon their freedom; it prevents them from their right to learn and work to the favor of non-Muslim and uncommitted Muslim women.

Real civilization is characterized by tolerance, so it has room for various races, religions, and ideologies. It does not tend to make people copies of a prototype. People should be brought up to the point of tolerance with one another in spite of their difference in religion, as the Glorious Qur'an teaches us in the following verse: "Unto you your religion, and unto me my religion." (Al-Kafirun: 6)

It hurts to hear the claims that one who wears hijab bears hostility towards others. What hostility can a woman who tries to protect her honor and who is committed to the teachings of her religion bear towards others? Hostility and enmity are never expected from a pious person, man or woman, who is conscious of Allah and fears Him.

It is true that the majority pass whatever laws they agree upon, according to the principles of democracy. Yet, just democracy cares for the rights of the minorities, whether religious or ethnic; it does not oppress the minorities. Were it so, the majority in a democratic society could get rid of the minorities under the name of democracy."

Also read:

France: Hijab under Attack

Hijab in France: Muslims' Role

Hijab : A Clear Vision

Tips to Face the Hijab Ban in France

Allah almighty knows best.

If anybody has problems in viewing these fatwas let me know and I'll post them on my blog or email them to you, you can chose.. Thank you...