Thursday, January 05, 2006

Here we go again.

ok, this is going to be seriously vague post and say that it's happening to me all over again.

Earlier this summer I was one of the most happiest person on earth. I connected with a friend on so many levels and it was great and thought maybe something would come out of it. Then that didn't work for some complicated matter that took place and I got involved in something that I shouldn't have because I feel I lost a friend that was dear to my heart... Things was never the same since then. So what do I do? Just move on. I have no other choice now do I?

Then tonight it happens AGAIN. Same exact situation. The only difference is that this time, I wasn't ready at all to do favors because I didn't want to lose ANY friendships this time. I feel bad about that though. So it's not a really win/win situation, it's like you're damned if you do and you're damned if you don't.

I'm disappointed to the I'm hurting. I feel like an idiot. I know I'm a good person and likeable but I just can't help but feel something is not right with me. Here I am with tears rolling down my face as I type this and talking to my friend wanting to express what I truly feel but I just can't. I don't want to sound like a maniac. I just don't know what to say. I guess, just accepting it and for once not express myself would be in the best interest of everybody involved. Knowing me though, I can't do it because I'm about to just let it all out. I don't understand why I'm that upset in the first place. So what?!? It's not meant to be and something better should come my way.


Nobody will ever love me more than my creator does. Alhamdulillah for everything for he is the most loving, mercifel and most compassionate...

Allah Kareem...

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