Where I've been.

Syria: Is my homeland. Love it with my heart and soul even though I never stayed there for over than 3 months.

Lebanon: Was there doing some volunteer work at a Palestinian refugee camp in Tripoli around 2 1/2 years ago. I had a cousin living Beirut. I fell in love with Tripoli because it reminds me a lot of Syria. Beirut, not too much really.

Egypt: I've visited the place with my mom and some relatives from my mom's side. I had family living there for a while so we decided to take advantage of the situation and go there twice. I'm in love with the place, it's filled with history and culture.

United Arab Emirates :It's where I grew up. It's a really weird place because it's filled with contradictions. Since I grew up there I have no choice but feel attached to the place.

United States: I lived there for 5 years when I went to college. The first 4 years of my life there was pretty hard but then my final year when I spiritually grew up, I knew what true happiness was. What I loved about this place that it's filled with a whole bunch of variety for anything you can think of.

Canada:Was there back in 1988... My family was there for immigration reasons. Didn't really work out though. I loved the place... Montreal has this European feel to it which I totally love.

England: I don't remember much of it because I used to go there with family as a child but I remember liking the place. It's cool it has it own character.

Switzerland: Again this place is where my family and I used to go to as a child but more than England. We even have an apartment in the mountains, in a town called Torgon. I remember that place clearly. I love it, it's like paradise. Wish to go back there again VERY soon. Last time I've been there was 1988.

Malaysia: My final 2 years of college has been in Malaysia.. I have to admit the place is absolutely gorgeous with it's exotic nature. Unfortunately I lived 10 hours from all of that, so I didn't have as much fun as I would've hoped for. Had too much studying to do.

Slow Internet connection

I'm in Syria right now and the internet connection is sooooo damn slow that it took about 1/2 hour for this to come out. That's totally annoying.. I can't wait till I go home then sign up for DSL and I'll be happy. I wanted to post something completely different than this but totally forgot what was it . Another annoying thing. I hate waiting tooooooo long it makes me forget what I'm waiting for.

Pain blows

So it's another day. As they say, same old shit different day. I'm feeling bloated because I have my period and for some reason my colon is acting up again. I have no idea why. I get major gas from my colon or my stomach depending on weird circumstances that I don't really understand. Whatever the deal is I've decided to get rid of this problem for once and for all... I need to clean my colon once and for all get rid of all the poison and junk I've accumulated since day one I started eating food. They say you can lose all sorts of weight by doing that. Hey it's a good start if you ask me to become super healthy... I just thought I'd share that to zero people that read this.

Healing

About 3 years ago, one of the sweetest ladies on earth named Marsheen help me, Rachel, my aunt and my cousins with many MANY things, mentally, physically and ever Spiritually. One of things she told me in my journey that I'll be getting into healing. I totally couldn't imagine myself getting into that at all.

At that time I used to study Media Technology and I graduated now majoring in Audio Engineering. I had a great time studying that. Back in grammar school I used to run around college with a tape recorder that I used to borrow from my dad without me letting him know, otherwise I wouldn't be able to use it. I used to a lot radio sketches and stuff of that nature. I had it in me as a child but I never really realized I had that option before.

The strange thing is that every once in while I get into healing and consider studying it and use it professionally. These thoughts has nothing to do with what Marsheen has told me. I guess it's just that she's right and I do have this healing energy in me. I guess eventually I will get into that.

I don't know what kind of healing I'll actually get into. I've considered Polarity Therapy, since I tried it and my aunt is a practitioner as well. Then I considered regular massage, now I'm thinking of Reflexology. I believe that Refeloxology is totally misused since it's very easy to learn. There are so many books on it but they don't get into details of the therapy. So people read these books then believe that they can be practitioners. It can get dangerous if you don't know what you're doing. I really want to give it a shot. It's a 2 years course and I'll be a certified practitioner once I graduate. It's something I'm seriously considering.

Weird Dreams

For some odd reason I've been having weird dreams. I guess it's because I'm terribly depressed but still functional. Maybe this combo is creating some strange reaction from my subconscious and it's projected in my dreams. Like 2 nights ago, I dreamt that I was helping a group of spies spys to get into Israel. Then people I know from college in Malaysia keep asking me about how on earth can we speak to each other. I had to explain to them that the language is very similar and that it wasn't even real. Nobody was going to get hurt, it's only a play. It's strange... There is much more to the dream.

Last night again I had another dream. I can't remember exactly what was it exactly but I have this weird feeling about it. Not bad, nor good just weird. Since my prayer have been increasing for the past few days, I wonder if God is trying to guide me to something new... Something with up most meaning that I've never experienced. I have no doubt in my creator. My faith will always be there like it always has.

Hope

"Never deprive hope from someone, it might be all they've got"

- Unknown

Not all people might know that hope is the most powerful tool in surviving happily in this twisted world. Even though you know that there is a possibility that something might not work out the hope of it actually working out keeps you determined to give it your best shot. Sometimes it might be hope that gets you where you want. Hopefully having faith is the most comforting thing in the world. At least to me it is.

For a while now I've been going through the typical "relationship on the rocks" situation. My philosophy is to expect the worst/hope for the best. I see a balance between being optimistic and pessimistic. It's like thinking it can go either way and for both, I'm prepared. I was trying to kept me happy. I even had my own healthy defense mechanism techniques that didn't involve building a wall.

The truth is when the person you care about is taking all the hope in the friendship away from you. If that is taken away from me, I got nothing to work with in this relationship because it's all I've got. The annoying part is that, even though my instinct says it would work if we work together but without the other side's help, it's not going to happen. So I guess, I'm going to have to let go 100% and in order to get over this heartache, I'll have to shut the other side off till I'm healed, not that I think it'll be difficult because of MANY reasons.

Smile Power

OK, I feel I should be more consistent on here. I've been away for a while now but I'm back. I hope this time I'd stay for good because this might be therapeutic for me. Anyways, my latest achievements is that I finally graduated. YAY!! I'm a qualified Audio Engineer. WOOHOO!!!

Anyways, I've been going through a lot ever since my graduation in Oct. Mind you that there wasn't any sort of ceremony. :( Oh well, at least I'm out of that hell called Malaysia. So I've been going to NLP sessions and I've been really enjoying them. Today was my last day of my sessions in my stay in Syria. I've learned a lot and I'm totally grateful about that. As I was leaving the NLP center I saw this young lady and what seems to be her brother. For some reason I stared at her with a huge smile on my face. She seemed friendly enough. She looked back at me and smile back. That's not it though she even said a tiny prayer for me that just made me feel so warm. I love it when a complete stranger says a little prayer for me with a huge smile. There's love that fills the air.

With all that said I believe people should always smile no matter what. It can give hope to people, it can make somebody feel better, it can help you get around easier, it'll help spread love around. Do yourself and the world a favor and just SMILE....

"Smile though your heart is aching

Smile even though it's breaking.

When there are clouds in the sky, you'll get by.

If you smile through your fear and sorrow

Smile and maybe tomorrow

You'll see the sun come shining through for you.

Light up your face with gladness

Hide every trace of sadness,

Although a tear may be ever so near

That's the time, you must keep on trying.

Smile, what's the use of crying?

You'll find that life is still worth-while,

If you just smile"

- John Turner and Geoffrey Parsons