With my Own Two Hands

A while back I bought Jack Johnson's Curious George soundtrack when I was back in the UAE. It is by far one of the most beautiful albums my ears ever heard. The simple music, the striking lyrics and Jack Johnson's warm voice is just perfect for my taste of serenity. Another thing I find fascinating about the album is that it's perfect for kids to listen to it and learn from the lessons sung. One song in particular caught my attention; Ben Harper's "With My Own Two Hands"

The new version that was featured on this album just expresses what I've been trying to express all my life. It simply is me and all I want to be. I just love the straightforwardness of the music and lyrics.

I can change the word
With my own two hands
Make it a better place
With my own two hands
Make it a kinder place
With my own two hands
With my own
With my own two hands

I can make peace on earth
With my own two hands
I can clean up the earth
With my own two hands
With my own
With my own two hands

I'm going to make it a brighter place
With my own two hands
I'm going to make it a safer place
With my own two hands
I'm going to help the human race
With my own two hands
With my own
With my own two hands

I can hold you
With my own two hands
I can comfort you
With my own two hands
But you've got to use
Use your own two hands
Use your own
Use your own two hands
With my own
With my own two hands
With my own
With my own two hands

If children learn to sing along to that and learn this priceless virtue of knowing that we can able to work together to make a better place on earth, then this song would've done it's purpose.

Of course, along with our two hands, help and guidance from Allah (SWT) would be just an extraordinary combination to make this world a better place. For the creator of mankind and the universe knows best and has all power to give us strength to make things happen for us and the world around us.

What now?

Every experience comes with a lesson but I still haven't figured this one experience out yet. When I first started out in my current job I was beyond ecstatic. It was my dream job I've ever imagined. Everything was going great. My boss was the greatest, the nature of my work was amazing, the timing was just the best. I couldn't ask for better.

Now I can't help but wonder. I moved from the UAE especially to get that kind of job here in Syria. Since I was freelance and I've been not doing anything for over a month sitting at home doing nothing. Right before that I worked on an amazing and fun project. Most of the time before that, I'd be at home doing nothing. I didn't travel to live alone, do nothing and get no paycheck at the end of the month. This is getting to be a seriously frustrating situation. If I'm not productive and actually accomplishing something, I'm not going to be a happy person.I am the kind that needs to see that my work is making some sort of difference in the world. When I feel I'm stuck going nowhere, I go crazy and freak out. Being unemployed and unproductive is out of the question.

One of things that I despise is sitting doing nothing. I feel useless and worthless. All my insecurities come bursting out. It's actually physically painful. I can't even sleep well at night. I know this might sound like I'm exaggerating but I'm not.

I have no idea what to do next. I have a choice to go back to college for year to get my BA. I even applied for a job in the same college, maybe I can work and finish my studies, so I won't lose any time on getting working experience.

Since I didn't get to go to Egypt a few weeks ago, I still need to go there to check out work and Insha'Allah (If God Permits it) I'll be able to start my career there as either a musician or Audio Engineer or anything in the field. I know people there that might be able to help me out to at least know where to apply. That's the least I ask for.

We'll see how all this would go. I just need prayers and good positive vibes from all people that care. I desperately need it.

I pray for guidance.
I pray for solace.
I pray for assurance.
I pray for strength.
I pray for faith.

Coming back Early...

Here I am coming back much earlier to Syria a lot earlier than I thought. I really don't want to come back and live my old disgusting routine. The only thing that'll make this a lot easier is that my mom is coming down and would be staying till August. That should take some crap off of me.

I still have seriously mixed feeling towards Syria. My job situation isn't getting any better and I don't think staying in that company is going to do me much in developing my career sitting at home most of the time doing nothing. I get no pay and I learn jack.

I've decided to go back to college next year. I'll be moving once again, this time to either London or Dubai (haven't decided yet) for a year to get my audio engineering BA. Hopefully, I'll be able to get a job as well at SAE (School of Audio Engineering) That way I wouldn't miss out on the working experience while I'm in that year of college. What happens once I graduate, I'm not too sure yet. A friend of mine told me that there might be a new Islamic Entertainment satellite channel opening by that time. I think I might apply for a job there and see where that takes me.

Other than that, I still have to talk to people I know about my music, maybe I can get that going as well. I think it'll be amazing if I get it published. My trip to Egypt is postponed but doesn't mean I can't talk to other people who might be help me who know other people. I'll see where all this might lead me.

I just need to find a really awesome web designer to start my own website where I can promote my own music. I have some cool ideas that might get this going. Woohoo. I'm getting all excited just thinking about it. Well good luck for me and in God's will all would work out in the end.