What's next...

Reality hit me. Even though I do have enough money to spend on the magical trip I've been planning but, it might leave me broke afterward. So I decided to get me a job, it'll be a freelance job but it'll be fun because I'll have my own office and my own computer and I'll be working far away from distractions and it'll help me make more money before I do get to travel. Plus, I've decided to cut my travels short because I felt I can do much more than I expected here in Syria. I'll be taking classes at the masjid and maybe do some work for the masjid as well.

Plus, maybe I should also do try to get me a visa to the US and see people I'd love to meet up with. We'll see how all of this would go. I'm canceling out Cyprus and Malaysia most probably. I still am not too sure about Malaysia.

I'm still waiting till my parents come from the UAE and settle here in Syria. My dad wants to live at the coast and I cannot see myself moving 3 hours away from Damascus where my work and study will be and all the loved ones. They can live there but I'm not moving.

One thing I've done that I haven't done in ages is actually read a book and finish it. The best part is that I finished the whole book in 2 days. I simply couldn't let go of the book once I started. Farheen Khan's book, Behind the Veil is one of the most amazing reads. It was very inspirational. I think what helped me finishing the book is that she's one of my really close friends in Canada. Whatever it is, it help me break the bad habit of not reading. I really would love to read a whole lot more... I seriously need to get inspired and be more knowledgeable to be able to go on my next step of this path of awakening.

I want to change my life upside down. I want to be a much better person that I am. I want to be more positive. I want to be more inspired, and I want to inspire. I want to get healed and I want to heal. All that with the grace of Allah. Without Him nothing is possible. I just want to be at peace and spread out the vibe of peace around me.

Eid Mubarak to all...

Transiting in Abu Dhabi

It was time to go, leave the house where I lived in for the past year. It doesn't matter much though. I never really felt like I'm at home because I live with husband's sister in Law who's also a cousin of his. She has 3 adorable kids even though they can be a handful. They're 2 girls and 1 boy. I grew very attached to the oldest, Tabina. We have a lot in common and we have lots of fun playing, singing talking etc...

When it was time to head to the airport Tabina just broke my heart, she was vigorously crying. It broke my heart to the degree I cried. This whole thing is very saddening because she has to deal with a loved one leaving every few months since her father doesn't live with them but in the US. That's a whole other topic. I'll probably mention it later in my posts. Let's just say that American Immigration is just too rough.

One the way to the airport, my husband and I picked up one of my closest friends that I got to meet while working with MuslimFest. Shakera is one those people you've love to be around all the time. She's very passionate, loving person who is very down to earth and who is definitely reliable. She'll do anything for you and to top it, she does it with a gorgeous huge smile.

At Peason Airport in Toronto, she surprised me with something I seriously wasn't expecting at all. She actually got me a VERY rare white abaya that she told me about months before. The irony is that I was looking for a white one and dropped it on my lap. I was touched by her gift. The great part is that the abaya fits perfectly. I just have a hard time finding something that fits me properly.

Now that I'm in Abu Dhabi after a 12 hour flight, I have to wait another 10 hours for my next flight to Damascus. I got me a hotel room at the hotel and I'll be sleeping like a baby till then even though it cost me an arm and a leg. My parents offered to pay and I'm not going to deny that offer especially when it's seriously needed. The problem was that since I am no longer a Emarati resident, I can't go out without a visa in advance and my parents can't come in to the transit section of the airport. So I guess, a few more weeks isn't that bad compared to the 2 years that already passed without seeing them. Thank God for free phone though.

I'm heading now to the hotel room, to simply rest, have dinner then sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep. Gosh, I'm dizzy. I can't remember when is the last time I got this tired. The funny thing is, I actually like the feeling. :)

New Journey to a new life.

It's been ages since I've written and that's because I didn't feel my life was going anywhere and it was just plain boring to write about and I have been living in my lowest I've been in years. Alas, InshaAllah all this will be taken care of because there's only soooo much one can take without taking charge of their own life.

A little over 2 years ago, I got married. I thought this finally lead me to settle because I've been moving around from different US states to different countries in different parts of the world for the past 10 years or so. I was wrong, my husband is even less settled than I am and so I feel I'm completely lost because now I have to worry about another as well as me. To top it he's not exactly the easiest person to get along with. Nonetheless, I did marry him for the right reasons. His heart is in the right place. He's can be gentle and affectionate. He is a practicing, God fearing man. We just are having difficulties because we're not settled and he's been out of job since he's been out of college last year.

We've been living together in Canada for a little over a year and before that we were in Los Angeles. For that whole year in Canada I've been on a extended visit visa and it expires tomorrow. Tonight, I'm heading back home in which I haven't been in for 2 years. I terribly miss home and I'm all excited. The only problem is, when I leave Canada, I have no idea when I'll be able to come back. It all depends when I get my Permanent Residence Card from the Embassy in Abu Dhabi, where I grew up. This might take another year or it might take a couple of months. So only God knows how long I'll be away from Canada. It's more than ok though. I need a break from everything around and be around my family who are my strongest support group I have and I'm thankful for having that.

Tonight, I'm ready to travel back to my home country Syria. From there, I'm planning to take a long journey around the area. Syria, Turkey, Cyprus, Malaysia and then lastly Egypt. Of course I'll probably go to Lebanon to meet up with friends as well. It'll be healing process. I want to document the journey of finding myself again because ever since I got married, I don't know who I am anymore. I've gotten so used to being alone and taking care of myself, not answering to anybody at all.

Well, this is just an intro of what I'll be writing about in the next year. I'm excited and scared at the same time. I believe this is normal since I'll be separated from my husband and my new life in Canada and back to my old that I've let go for marriage. We'll see how it'll go.

Help Muslims in Need...

Bismillah.

This is really sad. There are Muslim refugee families in Houston that are in the following conditions:

1- Families going without food for days.
2- Families who get eviction notices and are left on the street.
3- Teenagers taking the role of the bread earners.
4- Kids going in a state of depression.
5- Families 14 of them living in a 2 bedroom apartment.
6- Doctors, engineers (even PhD’s), and businessmen who lost everything and are trying to start their lives all over again at gas stations!
7- Widows crying out of thankfulness.
8- Families giving up their religion because Churches offer them support in exchange of their religion!

Yes, this is in America! Don’t believe me? Watch this video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ul9KLRv41R8

A very good organization called Al-Amanah are trying to help get these families back on their feet. And our friends at HalfDate are having a drive to support Al-Amanah.

Please help the Muslim refugees by making a dua and posting it in the comments section on HalfDate (a sister will donate 1 Canadian dollar when you do so), blogging about it (someone from HalfDate will donate $5 for each post, or just by donate as much as you can.

Remember that the Prophet said,

اِتّقُواْ النَّارَ وَلَوْ بِشَقِّ تَمَرَةِ
فَمَنْ لَمْ يَجِدْ فَبِكَلِمَةٍ طَيِّبَةٍ

“Save yourselves from the Fire by giving charity even if it is with half a date, and if that is not possible, with a good/kind word”.

[Bukhari]

Don’t let this opportunity slip. Remember that these people are OUR brothers and sisters. Would you ever leave your blood brothers and sisters in such a situation?

What to say?

Salams (peace) to all my readers if there are any left,

It has been almost 2 years since I've done anything with my blog here and that's because so many things have been happening and I simply lost focus and interest even though it was going well.

I know I've touched lives and that I'm grateful for but I got too caught up with my personal life that I completely forgot the ones I did make a difference to and I can actually can make a difference all together.

Just few mins ago I was reminded of this and I figured I need to blog again. Either this or video. I should stay away from politics and just simply stick to my music. Spirituality, faith and Religion. Pretty much what I've learned from this Journey I'm on. Hence the blog is called Rollercoaster Journey.

Anyways, I just want to write this to see if there are actually readers around. :)

Drop me an email and give me feedback of any sort :

stellar101@gmail.com

I miss you guys...

A Wife

A talk by Shaykh Abdullah Adhami

By getting married you are not just getting a wife, you are getting your whole world. From now until the rest of your days your wife will be your partner, your companion, and your best friend.

She will share your moments, your days, and your years. She will share your joys and sorrows, your successes and failures, your dreams and your fears. When you are ill, she will take the best care of you; when you need help, she will do all she can for you;

When you have a secret, she will keep it; when you need advice, she will give you the best advice. She will always be with you: when you wake up in the morning the first thing your eyes will see will be hers; during the day, she will be with you, if for a moment she is not with you by her physical body, she will be thinking of you, praying for you with all her heart, mind, and soul; when you go to sleep at night, the last thing your eyes will see will be her; and when you are asleep you will still see her in your dreams. In short, she will be your whole world and you will be her whole world.

The best description that I personally have ever read describing the closeness of the spouses to each other is the Qur'anic verse which says: "they are your garments and you are their garments" (Surah Al Baqarah 2:187). Indeed, spouses are like garments to each other because they provide one another with the protection, the comfort, the cover, the support, and the adornment that garments provide to humans. Just imagine a journey in the winter of Alaska without garments! Our spouses provide us with the same level of comfort, protection, cover, and support in the journey of our lives on this earth as garments would do in the Alaskan journey.

The relationship between the spouses is the most amazing of all human relations: the amount of love and affection, intimacy and closeness, mercy and compassion, peace and tranquillity that fills the hearts of the spouses is simply inexplicable. The only rational explanation for these most amazing of all human feelings is that: it is an act of Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala, "And Allah has made for you Mates (and Companions) of your own nature ..." (Surah Al Nahl 16:72) Only our Almighty Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala in His Infinite Power, Boundless Mercy, and Great Wisdom can create and ingrain these amazing and blessed feelings in the hearts of the spouses. In fact Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala is reminding those who search for His signs in the universe that these feelings in the hearts of the spouses are among the signs that should guide humans to His existence as He says in the Qur'an, "And among His signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves that you may dwell in tranquillity with them and He has put love and mercy between your hearts: verily in that are signs for those who reflect." (Surah Al Rum 30:21)

But Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala knows that the human heart is not a static entity, it is sometimes weak and at times dynamic. Feelings can and do change with time. Love may wither and fade away. The marital bond might weaken if not properly cared for. Happiness in marriage cannot be taken for granted; continuous happiness requires constant giving from both sides. For the tree of marital love to remain alive and keep growing, the soil has to be sustained, maintained, watered and nurtured.

Remember that our Prophet Muhammad Salallaahu 'aliahi wa'sallaam had found the time to go out to the desert and race with his wife Aisha. She out ran him but later after she had gained some weight, he out ran her.

Remember that the Prophet Salallaahu 'aliahi wa'sallaam took his wife to watch the young Ethiopians playing and dancing their folk dances. The show of emotions is necessary to keep the marital bond away from rusting and disintegrating.

Remember that you will be rewarded by Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala for any emotions you show to your wife as the Prophet Salallaahu 'aliahi wa'sallaam said "one would be rewarded for anything that he does seeking the pleasure of Allah even the food that he puts in the mouth of his wife."

Never underestimate the importance of seemingly little things as putting food in your wife's mouth, opening the car's door for her, etc. Remember that the Prophet Salallaahu 'aliahi wa'sallaam used to extend his knee to his wife to assist her up to ride the camel.

Try to always find some time for both of you to pray together. Strengthening the bond between you and Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala is the best guarantee that your own marital bond would always remain strong. Having peace with Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala will always result in having more peace at home.

Remember that the Prophet Salallaahu 'aliahi wa'sallaam gave glad tidings for those couples who wake up at night to pray together. The Prophet Salallaahu 'aliahi wa'sallaam even urged the spouse who rises up first to wake the other spouse up even by throwing cold water on his/her face.

Always try your best to be good to your wife by words and by deeds. Talk to her, smile to her, seek her advice, ask for her opinion, spend quality time with her and always remember that the Prophet Salallaahu 'aliahi wa'sallaam said "the best of you are those who are best to their wives."

Finally, it is common that spouses vow to love and honor their spouses until death do them part. I do believe that this vow is good or even great, but not enough! It is not enough that you love your wife. You have to love what she loves as well. Her family, her loved ones must also become your loved ones. Don't be like my colleague who was unhappy about his wife's parents coming to visit for few weeks. He candidly said to her "I don't like your parents." Naturally, she angrily looked at him straight in the eye and said " I don't like yours either"... Also, it is not enough that you love her until death do you part. Love should never end and we do believe there is life after death where those who did righteousness in this world will be joined by their spouses (Surah Al Zukhruf 43:70) and offsprings.

The best example in this regard is the Prophet Salallaahu 'aliahi wa'sallaam whose love for Khadija, his wife of 25 years extended to include all those she loved and continued even after her death. It was many years after her death and he never forgot her and whenever a goat was slaughtered in his house he would send portions of it to Khadija's family and friends and whenever he felt that the visitor at the door might be Khadija's sister Hala, he would pray saying "O Allah let it be Hala."

Little Mosque on the Prairie

- Season 1 Episode 1 A small prairie Muslim community butts heads with locals when their new spiritual leader arrives.